Easily Forgotten Archives - Page 4 of 5 - My New Life on the Trail

Day 17, Sunday, July 18. YNP, TM 1675.5–(11.9 miles)

A bit tougher than we expected in Yosemite

It didn’t take long for the mosquitoes to find out we were awake. Both Bear and Sassy woke them when they snuck out for their orange bag experiences. We contemplated mugging a passing hiker and stealing their food so we could stay another day at this spot, but decided that might be a bit hypocritical since we ratted out the couple that looted Billy Goat’s bear canister.

Bunny claims she didn’t sleep well last night. I was awake for a lot of her snoring, so I doubt the premise. What I will say is that I know she has a hard time getting comfortable after a day like yesterday. She’ll flip and flop like a fish out of water until she finally falls asleep. I won’t make her roll over for snoring on nights like that. St Easy, I am well aware.

Today was just 2800 feet up and 2600 feet down, so it was basically level. If you run up and down the Willis Tower (formerly known as the Sears Tower) twice and end up on the ground floor where you started, did you exert any energy? I’d have to say, “yes, quite a bit.”

The PCT wants you to see as much of Yosemite as possible. It’s my belief they are trying to make sure we hit every valley. When we reached the top of our first 1000’ climb of the day, we could spot a couple smoldering spots in the forest across from us. We had already been warned by several hikers that we passed as close as 20 yards from these slow burns. One hiker told us that a load of water had been dumped on them yesterday. We saw a helicopter fly over and check on its status.

Not one, but two, smoldering fires that we have to pass

Before we even started hiking a couple weeks ago, we checked “inciweb” which is the forest service’s fire map. There were 7 fires reported in Yosemite already. Most were under control or so remote that they were of no concern to us.

Nearing the top of the second 1000’ climb, Bunny began to feel a bit dizzy. We had eaten lunch at the bottom of the climb and she had taken some pain meds for her hip. The weather was working with us by providing a cloudy sky to keep things cool. The meds must have kicked in just as we finished the hard part of the climb. We took a short break at the top and she felt better.

The biggest surprise to all of us was the descent from the first climb. We actually took longer to come down than it took for us to go up. It was a difficult, rocky climb down. A lot of effort was put into making this trail go up an exposed granite face. I affirmed my opinion of 3 things god got wrong and I can’t let him off the hook for: 1) mosquitoes, 2) flies, and 3) gnats. At the top of every climb, a gnat picks a hiker and tries to annoy him/her/non-binary to the point of falling to death and feeding the swarm for a season.

This tree, like me, has had a rough life…how else can how twisted we both are be explained?

Because of the longer time to descend than we anticipated combined with the two big climbs, we were about 45 minutes later getting up to the spot we eventually decided to camp. As we started this last ascent of the day, it started to sprinkle. We thought for sure if we stopped and put on our pack covers, it would stop. It rained lightly all the way up. It helped cool things off and lower the amount of dust we kicked up. This was our fall back position. It was almost 6 when we got here. If we pushed on, we’d have to climb another 700’ in 2 1/2 miles. We were all for it, but the sky does look a bit threatening, and we didn’t want to end up in an electrical storm on an exposed ridge at over 9200’.

Now that’s a mushroom—the result of a healthy pile from someone or something on trail

We quickly set up our tents in the rain and threw all our gear inside to keep it dry. While Bear and I went after water, Sassy and Bunny did their usual tent preparation. By the time we got back, we thought the rain was stopped enough that we could eat outside. Instead, it picked back up and we had cozy retreats in our tents for a hot supper.

A pond above our camping spot…Squaw Lake

Many of the thru-hikers we’ve talked to said that this section of Yosemite has been the hardest for them because of the constant up/down between valleys. Also, we hit some short 1000’/mile grades today, but had sustained grades of over 800’/mile. We know we will hit steeper grades ahead, but these did us in today (all except for Bear, we haven’t managed to wear him out, yet, in a single day of hiking). We’re getting stronger. In another week, I think we’ll be able to consistently put in 15-18 mile days. God, and Sassy, willing, we might even throw in a 20 just to say we did.

EFG

Day 16, Saturday, July 17. Falls Creek, Yosemite, TM 1663.6–(15.9 miles)

We finally enter Yosemite, and are not disappointed

I heard Bear and Sassy mumbling about 6:30. I looked out the tent and saw 2 Nobo’s leaving camp. Like an idiot, I started to boil the water we needed for breakfast. I’d already prepared everything last night, so it was the fastest we had gotten breakfast complete. Just as we were finishing our food, Sassy yelled “Take your time. We haven’t started any packing yet.”

I changed up my order of things. Normally, I entirely pack up before I get out of the tent. Bunny pretty much does the same but gets out first for her morning beauty ritual. Today, I made the command decision, poop before pack. I headed up from camp and had my spot all picked. I did one final look around and saw Sassy waving at me. Mission abort. I took a wide circle around her (she was done) and headed further up. I dug my hole, laid out all the paperwork, and took one final look. I had a direct line of sight to Bear and Sassy’s tent. It was mission critical that I not abort. I had only one option, keep staring at Bear in case he sees me. I always try to hold eye contact with non participants which tends to give you a wider birth in future outings.

Wildflowers vs what I’m talking about here

Bear never saw me. I suppose Sassy told him my general whereabouts and he chose to not intrude upon my moment of zen. I filled out my paperwork as quickly as possible then returned to camp. Bear saw me and announced a changing of the guard. While Bear was imitating the pope, I quickly packed up and took down the tent. Bunny and I decided to get front row seats to observe how Bear and Sassy get ready. As they were taking down their tent, a pole slipped and hit Bear in the eye. This was the moment Sassy had been waiting for. While Bear was hurt, she got to give him the “hurry up” hand roll like he had done to her when the same thing happened in reverse a few years back.

It was a level to downhill walk the first 5 miles today, yet I managed to get overheated. It wasn’t hot, I just can’t be allowed to be in front. Like Bunny and Sassy, I outpace myself trying to make sure I’m not holding anyone up. The next Creek we got to, I soaked my sun shirt, hat, and bandanna to try to get my core temperature down. Sassy gave me a couple of salt tablets to make up for all the sweating I had done. I don’t want to get behind on electrolytes again. It’s too hard to get straightened out on the trail.

Under normal hiking circumstances, it’s got to be confusing as hell to our bodies what is going on. For 6 days, we expect maximum physical output on a reduced calorie diet. By reduced, I mean we can only carry about 2500 calories worth of food for 6 days and we are burning in excess of 3500 calories (it would be more if we were putting in bigger miles). To help confuse matters, we’ll come into a town and consume 5000 calories per day and reduce demand on our bodies while we rest. It’s amazing that our bodies function as well as they do under the conditions we subject them to.

Not our thousand mile mark, but “A” 1000 mile mark

A major highlight for today was entering Yosemite National Park. We could see the park boundary by the mountain size change as we crossed Dorothy Lake Pass. There was still snow clinging to crevices. We’ve heard plenty of Nobos say that Yosemite is the most difficult section of the Sierra. Today was the exception as the first 10-12 miles in the park heading south is a gentle decline. We made good miles today, but we’ll pay for it tomorrow.

Bunny’s left hip is good for about 11-13 miles as long as the terrain isn’t too rocky and loose. We had a few miles of that prior to and right after entering Yosemite. We took a break at the 11 mile mark to see how the old Hare was holding up. She said she might have another 5 in her if she took one of her meds and applied some CBD oil. She did both, but it started to wear off before we made our goal. She kept pushing, though, in the hopes of a shorted day tomorrow.

For some reason, I was leading after Dorothy Lake. A hiker was coming towards me and yelled “10 and 5.” I was shocked that this guy was yelling at me and didn’t know what he was talking about. He continued yelling “you’re the 10th woman and 5th man I’ve seen today. Isn’t is great that women outnumber the men on the trail?” Just then Bear and Sassy caught up and he yelled “11 and 6.” We tried talking a few minutes, but I was a bit uncomfortable with the yelling. When we moved on, Bunny said he had hearing aides in, but possibly the batteries were going dead.

A few minutes later I saw 2 girls coming towards us. It took every bit of will power I had not to yell “12 and 6; 13 and 6.” I frighten women enough in the back country without yelling at them.

We finally got to our spot hoping it wouldn’t be full. Guthook says there’s lot of flat spots all along Falls Creek, but we had seen very few camping spots. We hit the jackpot tonight. This turned out to be our best spot so far. Falls Creek runs nearby to the site and there are several flat boulders in the creek. The four of us sat on the boulders soaking our feet while cooking and eating supper. It was the perfect end to our longest day of hiking so far this season.

EFG

Day 15, Friday, July 16. Kennedy Canyon Creek, TM 1647.7–(11.0 miles)

Life continues on the PCT

At breakfast, we actually met 5 other Sobo section hikers…we are not alone. They even talked to us. We all agreed to try to commandeer the first shuttle out at 10. We know of at least 5 Nobo’s that are planning on heading out this morning. The van can only hold at most 10 people. After getting packed up, the 9 of us all took our packs out to the van area rather than the PCT hiker area…we kind of jumped line, but in reality, we were the first hikers to request the shuttle and the first lined up. Additionally, we’re all older hikers so the young pups can wait for their elders to hit the trail.

Happy to be back on the trail after just a single day

Ron, the driver, dropped us off at Sonora Pass. 8 of us are planning on heading to the same campsite tonight. We have a 1200’ climb up to 10,850 feet elevation. Bunny and I immediately drop to the back. Her hip isn’t hurting today and we want to keep it that way. There’s a group of 4 women who call themselves the “Jay Walkers.” They started at Truckee on the 5th of July. It’s pretty doubtful that we’ll ever see them again after today if they covered the same distance we did in 3 fewer days. They seem to have more testosterone than our group does.

It’s easy to see the trail ahead when you’re above treeline

Something else about today—it’s a dry day. We spent most of the hike above 10,500’ and there wasn’t any water. It was 10 miles between water sources which meant we had to carry a bit more water than usual combined with a full 6 days of food. Surprisingly, we handled it pretty well.

Billy Goat was out again today. We ran into him about 6 miles in. His companion, Soul Flower had packed up some bear canisters for him to reduce his carry. A couple of assholes had the nerve to open them up and take some of his food. Since we had met everyone heading both directions today, we were able to determine who the culprits were. We had even talked to them at the top of the climb. Bear had good enough signal to call Kennedy Meadows North and give a description to them. Ron, the driver, and all the staff at Kennedy Meadows know Billy Goat so they will handle the matter.

You can’t “accidentally” open a bear canister

It did give us the opportunity to spend more time with Billy Goat. He first climbed Katahdin in 1958 (the year Bear was born). He found out there was a trail from there to Georgia and right then he decided he wanted to walk it. He began section hiking and finished his first pass of the AT in 1987. Since then, he has hiked the AT 3 times and is finishing his 10th time on the PCT. He has 26,500 miles on the PCT alone. He was worried he might have to turn around if too much of his food had been taken. The women in front of us had given him some food and I’m sure everyone on the trail will contribute if he needs more. I pointed out to him that if he turned around and headed back to the pass, that would be considered the start of his 11th PCT hike and he’d be obligated to finish that one as well. He said he’d wait for Soul Flower to catch up before he made a decision. I’m sure he will continue on.

There was water if you are willing to climb down a few thousand feet…we weren’t

We got high for lunch. That is, we stopped around 10,700’ when we found a clump of stunted trees that gave us a little shade. I’m pretty sure that something was up that I shouldn’t share completely with our young readers: Bear said he wanted some afternoon delight and Sassy asked to borrow my Vagisil. That’s not entirely true, Sassy traded a Snickers for my Payday and the use of my Vagisil. She also borrowed a couple of safety pins to pleat her shorts which had been chafing her thighs this morning. She and Bunny are now “pleat twins.” And Bear’s “afternoon delight” consisted of borrowing the orange bag of relief and disappearing into the woods. Word is, he did wave to Sassy when she relieved herself. Alabama folk!

The mountains around us are just fucking stunning. I’m sorry, there is no other way to describe them. But we have to remember, these mountains are Yosemite rejects. We don’t enter Yosemite for about another 7 miles. We will have walked from Lake Tahoe to Yosemite National Park tomorrow, and we’re just barely under way for this year. We’ll still have two more National Parks to go.

I’m just in awe of the natural beauty we are seeing. Everything looks like a painting. We can see the trail for miles at a time. It’s just hard to capture the scale of what we are seeing in pictures. I’m taking way more pictures than we can post and we’re having a tough time of what to include. We still have 300 more miles to go.

We got to camp a bit before 6. We chose spots close to the trail and were over ran with nobo hikers heading into Kennedy Meadows tomorrow. The nobo people we ran into today seem less uppity. I think the people that are only 1000 miles in right now are realizing they are going to have to flip up North if they are going to stand a chance of finishing. Even worse, they see that they may end up like us and become lowly LASHers. Reality can be cruel.

EFG

Day 14, Thursday, July 15. Kennedy Meadows North—(Zero Day)

Finally, a day of rest

There weren’t any beds in the dorm last night, so we set up tents in the designated PCT hiker area. The biggest difference I’ve noticed between the PCT and AT trail communities is one of attitude and cliqueishness. From my perspective, the AT community is much more open and accepting of all people you meet on the trail. A day hiker or section hiker is not looked down upon (as much) as these lesser life forms are on the PCT. If we, as gods of the AT (we were thru-hiking) would have looked upon our lessers with the same attitude as a PCT hiker does to lesser hikers, we would have never become such good friends with Bear and Sassy.

Just in case you don’t know where we are

Even though they were mere section hikers at the time, we befriended them and introduced them to all our friends on the trail. They eventually brought us down a notch in the pecking order to become the social pariahs we are today—LASHers (Long Ass Section Hikers). We still love them even though they have ruined our trail image.

The first bear we see and it’s at check in

In reality, they are much stronger hikers than we are. Even a sick Sassy is hard for us to keep up with. Bear is the strongest and most detail oriented of our group. The only differences between older hikers and younger hikers is money, time, and physical recovery time. They have all three on us (yes, we are the younger couple of which I am the youngest in our foursome—that’s why I get to ride in the back of pickup trucks by myself while they sit up front in AC. I understand they need the extra space to “spread out.” It just hurts a little when the driver stops to pick up another hitchhiker and they make room up front. They will, on occasion, open up the rear slider to allow me to hear their joyful conversation while I’m sitting on a spare tire. It takes me back to my “dungeon days” in the Whites. My point in all of this? I forgot.) Now I remember, it wasn’t Bear and Sassy that ruined our trail lives. We did it ourselves by choosing not to risk our lives in deep snow. Bear and Sassy saved our trail images by agreeing to hike with “fallen” thru-hikers.

They cater to hikers with a well stocked store

North Kennedy Meadows has no connection to Kennedy Meadows South (other than the Kennedy name and being a meadow). This Kennedy Meadows was once owned by an asshole Irish immigrant who killed 2 men for fishing on one of his lakes. They didn’t know they were trespassing. Ignorance of the fact was no excuse. He shot one, made the other carry him back to his cabin, dig a grave big enough for two, and then hung the guy that did all the work because he wasn’t worth the cost of a bullet. Nice guy.

What do hikers want almost as much as food?

We took the zero day here to allow Sassy recovery time and to eat. The restaurant here has very good food with reasonably priced steaks since they raise their own cattle. This is, more or less, a horse camp. People come here to ride the trails rather than do the manly thing and hike. (Yes, Bear and I have manly wives. It’s why we are both so meek.)

A nice shower and laundry (that not all hikers choose to use)

Bunny and I resupplied here. The prices and supplies are pretty geared towards hikers. I felt a bit bad spending a little over $100 for six days of food until a nobo behind us in line spent $160 for his 5 days of food to get him to Lake Tahoe. I guess our hiker appetites haven’t kicked in yet.

Once the “royalty” of the trail packed up and left this morning, Bunny and I moved our tent into the shade closer to the water. We also cleaned up all the crap the spoiled, self entitled, brats left behind. They deemed us not worth talking to last night because by the time we showed up to set up our tents, we had already done laundry and showered. They had been here a couple of days and hadn’t bothered to do either (even though it’s included in the $30 price to camp here).

Bunny even sewed one of my legs to my ass

It wasn’t until evening that we started running into other lesser trail types who were also LASHing. We met a few couples that had also started in 2019 and had to skip large portions of the trail because of the snow. It’s really funny that the group of Nobo’s who left today were still so arrogant. Of the 2 van loads who went out, I would guess only one or two hikers actually have a chance of completing their thru-hike this year. Any hiker who is only to this point after more than 2 1/2 months of hiking, will have to flip north to have any chance of finishing. By their own definition, they are mere section hikers that haven’t done the math yet. I spit on them. The only nice thing I have to say about any of them is that they liked my Yoda pajama bottoms.

All in all, this was a restful day of overindulgence. We were able to make up our calorie deficit we had created since South Lake Tahoe. We had showers and laundry. The only thing missing was an actual bed to sleep in. The dorm rooms above the restaurant were full last night. We could have moved into a bed tonight, but we heard from several people that the rooms were hot and noisy. It was much better sleeping next to a River that drowned out most of the camp noise.

A cleaned up camping area, thanks to the 4 of us

EFG

Day 13, Wednesday, July 14. Sonora Pass, TM 1636.7–(9.2 miles)

I’m not asking Sassy…I value my life

It was a good night’s sleep but not 100% rejuvenating. Bunny’s hip kept her tossing and turning and my having to get up…wait a minute. I didn’t get up. That makes 12 nights in a row. I felt physically tired still but mentally in a fog. In other words, a typical night on the ground. We decided we need a day off. We’re pretty sure Bear and Sassy want one as well, but we’ll let them make the suggestion so we can acquiesce. Someday, they’ll do the same for (to) us.

I’m finishing up our tent—notice the undisturbed tent beside us

It’s only 9 miles to Sonora Pass, so we took our time getting ready. This might have been a good time to tell the women we had a 2500’ climb which might have sped them up a bit. We chose to remain silent. Bear had said we have a 5 1/2 mile climb, but that didn’t quite sink in.

A couple of markers left for us last night

Sassy was more like herself. Bunny’s hip is always a bit stiff for the first half mile (especially if the first half mile is uphill). It’s no big deal for Bear and me to hike the PCT. We’re not in pain all that much. Occasionally, we’ll have bad days, but Bunny’s hip hurts almost every day. She will eventually build up more muscle to ease the pain in her hip and allow her to have bigger mileage days, but… Even on a good day, her pain is a 4 and gets worse the longer she’s hiking.

Our track record this section is not good. We’ve been hitting 4-5 miles by the time we take lunch, usually between 1 & 2. That’s when we start hiking by 8:15 or 8:30 at the latest. Today we started a little after 9. We’ve heard it’s an easy hitch to Kennedy Meadows, and that there was a later shuttle than the 3p we were hoping to catch. I wasn’t overly worried.

We don’t just hike with Bear and Sassy. We hike with several Bears and Sassy. There’s Safety Bear that analyzes all the risks we might encounter. There’s Concerned Bear when Sassy gets sick or in a semi-dangerous position (suck as walking on a steep, exposed trail—a daily occurrence in the Sierra). Then there’s Analytical Bear (Anal Bear for short) who over thinks all details of the hike (this is Off Trail Bear’s predominant persona—I haven’t seen it yet, but I KNOW he has a daily spreadsheet for this trip. He keeps referring to dates we “should” be there.) Today, we hiked with all the Bears at once.

By our first break at 2.5 miles into our 6 mile climb, it was apparent Sassy was not miraculously cured over night after our longest day of hiking so far. We all just wanted to get to “town” for a day of rest. To her credit, Sassy didn’t say much. As any man alive knows, when a woman doesn’t say much, there’s something wrong. As all men also know, if a man makes such a statement about a woman, or women in general, that man’s life is forfeit. I said it. I know it. It’s been a pleasure relating my experiences on the trail. I have already started digging my grave. I just pray for a quick, clean shot (preferably in the back of the head). There’s so much I still wanted to do.

At our second break, Sassy threw up a bit. Yes, I had planned to sit in that spot, but the space at the other end of the shade turned out to be much better even though I had to sit on a thorny bush. Sassy was in that quiet state women enter when you’re not certain if it’s anger, illness, or both (I’ve already said the grave is in progress, allow me a few last words). I thought this was a good time for Bunny to lead. (Bunny, by the way, has entered her “Energizer Bunny” persona and can walk the same pace for hours, uphill or downhill, without pause. It’s not fast, but it will eventually wear your ass down.)

We took off at Bunny’s uphill, pace. This worked for another 1.6 miles until we all stopped again. Now, Sassy lead. Sassy, who is sick and hates hiking uphill and wants to get to town, took the lead. We didn’t see them again until near the top of the climb, at which point Sassy took off again. Three of us thought the worst was over. One of us, who had analyzed the trail (guess who) knew better. We hit a section of 850’/mile. It didn’t slow Sassy down, but it did take the remainder of her energy.

The top section of the trail was a bit more than a mile of rocky trail at 10,500’ in full sun. Bunny and I were a couple hundred feet behind when I saw that Sassy had taken off her hat. I was convinced she was in early heat exhaustion doing irrational things. We caught up with them and she was severely nauseated. They dropped their packs to get her an antacid and told us to go on.

Bunny and I headed to the first shady spot we could find (1/2 mile ahead). I dropped my pack and headed back to them. I planned to grab Sassy’s pack. We need to get her off the trail. About 100 yards back, I ran into them coming down the trail. Sassy had her hat back on and said the antacid was working. She’s like a cat, except she has nine daily lives.

I stay behind…to be able to take pictures

We made it across the rock section to the break point where the trail starts heading down. There was a group of 7 Nobo’s all in there 20s sitting down in a depression. They had just finished the 3 mile hike up from the pass. We had heard that Kennedy Meadows’ internet sucked, at best, and there isn’t any cell service down in the valley. Every one of these “kids” was on their phones and had ear buds in. It was like an AA meeting had accidentally been held in a VFW with a free open bar. I’m not certain they even saw us pass by.

Deceptively green as we start to descend

Anal, excuse me, Analytical Bear had projected we need to be to this spot by 12:30. It was 1:17. By the time we had walked nearly a mile down, it was 1:47. We still had 2.4 miles to go if we wanted to catch the 3p shuttle to Kennedy Meadows. The trail was actually worse than Pennsylvania rocky. This is the worst kind of terrain for Bunny’s hip (which was supposedly tired from yesterday). Going downhill is harder on her hip, to boot (whatever the hell that means). Sassy stepped aside to release the hounds. She told Bunny it was the land of kittens, rainbows, unicorns, and bunny rabbits if she made it to Sonora Pass in time to catch and hold the shuttle. In the language of combat pilots…we were dots.

Hurting hip Bunny was hopping so damn fast I couldn’t keep up. I begged her to slow down. She came to a complete stop. I’ve always warned people not to get too close to Bunny if she suddenly stops in the trail. It usually means a supersonic fart. In this case, it was even worse. She full roundhouse slapped me. “I love you. You’re my husband, but don’t you EVER get between me and “Bunny Nirvana” again.” Enough said. We covered the 2.4 miles in 44 minutes.

Now that we’re at the Pass, the blur has slowed down enough that I can take a picture

There were 3 people at the pass that directed us to the parking lot we had passed 1/4 mile ago. Back to the lot we went. There were dozens of cars but only one hiker who seemed to be following us. We asked if he knew where the shuttle picked people up at. He told us that he was only following us because we looked like we knew what was going on. By now, Bear and Sassy had arrived. While we were trying to figure out what was happening, the shuttle drove by the lot up to the pass where we had originally gone. Never trust a day hiker!

Ultimately, we flagged down the shuttle and made it down to Kennedy Meadows in time to make 5p dinner reservations. It may not have been “Bunny Nirvana,” but it was Hiker Paradise with flush toilets, hot showers, a grocery store, laundry machines, and, most importantly, free refills on drinks with dinner. We will live to hike another day.

EFG

Day 12, Tuesday, July 13. Carson River, TM 1627.5–(15.3 miles)

SSSSSSS

11 nights in a row without getting up to pee. I think it’s safe to say, I’m dehydrated. I don’t feel bad. In some ways, it’s kind of nice. Bunny is already trying to get me to change my off-trail salt habits to put salt on watermelon and cantaloupe. She likes the new me…too weak to argue back.

Sassy started out nauseated and it went downhill from there. She’s having the same symptoms I had last week. I had narrowed it down to a combination of 7 factors: poor fitness, over weight, age, altitude, heat, electrolyte imbalance, trail nutrition. Only 3 of these factors are the same for Sassy: heat, nutrition, electrolytes. To the untrained health professional cum trail expert of all things unasked for, I have diagnosed her problem.

There even appears to be a salt lick in the middle of the trail

Sassy got gluten slipped to her in town last week when we went out for Italian food. The symptoms didn’t appear until we were on the trail the next day. It was too late for her. She has terrible diarrhea for most of the day where she lost lots of electrolytes in the process. Our usual trail diets are too low in caloric content to make up for the loss, so she couldn’t rebound. Instead, the heat caused her to get worse to the point of mild heat sickness. She displayed symptoms of nausea followed by dry heaves to eventually vomiting up liquid in her stomach. Because of her nausea, she didn’t want to eat, which just compounded matters. (Also, she got a bit testy about talking about it, so we just offered what advice we could without igniting her kick-boxer instincts). At this point, she just needs to make it off trail and get food and then she’ll rebound.

“My husband doesn’t pee at night and I’m ecstatic”

I came up with a trail designation for this instance—“Sicilian Sourdough Started Sassy’s Severely Sickly Seventy.” From henceforth, we will refer to this section of trail from Echo Lake to Kennedy Meadows North as “sssssss.” That is, assuming Sassy survives to Kennedy Meadows. If she doesn’t, we will be forced to shun all offers of sourdough cheese bread from Italians for the rest of our days (we love Sassy, but we don’t want to be too harsh in our response to her memory. We will accept sourdough cheese bread from all other ethnic groups—she would have wanted it that way).

I had to run ahead and look for water, why else would I be in front?

The trail wasn’t terrible today if you weren’t dehydrated and weakened from sourdough exposure. For Sassy, it was a series of 3 mile hells. We stopped every 3 miles to get water and cool off. Bunny and I would soak our sun shirts in water which kept us cool for over an hour of sun exposure. Sassy tried this a day or two ago, but it didn’t work for her.

Late in the day, we met a 3 generation family with 4 kids ages 6, 8, 12, 14. We stopped and chatted with a very inquisitive 6 year old who was fascinated by the whole hiking experience. The mom used to go by “Sassy” when she was young. Grandpa, who was 71, may not have wanted us to know his age, but the young guy was on a roll.

3 generations ranging from 6 – 71, what a great way to start the kids love of nature

We made one last stop for water before our last moderate climb of 700’. All was well (except for Sassy, just accept that she is feeling like crap until Kennedy Meadows), until we hit a steep portion of climb on a trail with loose rocks. This is the worst case for her hip. Bunny’s hip started throbbing which caused her to wobble and go slow. We told Bear and Sassy to go ahead to find a campsite.

A spectacular valley to walk through at the end of the day

Bunny was in terrible pain and on the verge of tears. We weren’t hiking even a mile per hour. I made her stop and get out the CBD/THC cream and apply it to her hip. While she was doing that, I took out as much weight from her pack and added it to mine. This far into the hike, I had less than two days of food so I had plenty of room and my pack was feeling light.

Once we started the long downhill (1000’ to our camp) Bunny got distracted by the sun hitting the opposite valley wall. This got her mind off her hip and gave the cream a chance to work. She realized she was moving better and we were able to pick up our pace. As it was, we didn’t make it to camp until after 8. Bear and Sassy had left signs on the trail to let us know where to find them. We had just enough time to set up and cook before it got dark.

We wanted some twilight pics, but we also didn’t want to get caught out after dark…a compromise

While we were coming down, Bunny began to lament that she didn’t know how she’d be able to keep up if we tried to do bigger days if she couldn’t even handle a 13 mile hike. I didn’t have heart to tell she had already done more than 14 miles. Bear and I only let out information on an “as needed” basis. Both women have access to Guthook. Our (Bear and me) goal was to get in a 15+ mile day today, if possible, to get us into striking distance of Kennedy Meadows tomorrow. Both women only asked us how much further to go and neither one thought to ask how far we had already gone.

While we were eating, Sassy said that was the hardest 13 miles she’d done. I looked at Bear and he pretended deafness. Like an idiot, I said “keep going.” Sassy said “14.” I said “further.” Bear finally spoke up and said “Let’s check the gut…15.3 miles.” Sassy said just a single word “assholes.” When she went to the tent, I told Bear not to mention the 2500’ climb we start with in the morning. Neither woman was in the shape to hear that until we’re about 700’ into it tomorrow. They know how to use Guthook, but choose to trust us.

EFG

Day 11, Monday, July 12. Spring & Campsite, TM 1612.2–(13.7 miles)

Sassy falls, but nothing new happens

10 nights in a row! Everybody, bend over and kiss your asses goodbye. I need to get to a town where I can drink a couple of gallons of iced tea.

It just goes to show you, if it’s not one thing (Bunny’s hip), it’s another (blisters on her toes)

It was Bear who returned from his orange bag expedition and declared the Sierra his best morning poop experience. There is no better place on earth that compares to the Sierra on a cool, bug free morning. Only Bunny has refused to weigh in on this topic.

Who can tell us what kind of bird this is?

Sassy was feeling better today. They think they’ve narrowed down what her problem was. Sassy hates to climb hills. We tried letting her lead yesterday so she could maintain a comfortable pace. Bear clocked her at 3 mph. She’s like a horse returning to the barn. This theory seemed to hold for the first 6 or 7 miles until she got sickly again.

At this point, we can’t rule out anything. She has described what she is feeling as all day long morning sickness. Could Sassy be pregnant? Who are the parents? Perhaps the aliens have lost their fascination with anal probes and moved on to new experiments. Alien implantation is the most likely answer which brings up another question—What species is the baby? Or, could Sassy have Covid? Bear had vertigo the first few days on the trail. Could Bear have given her a virus? Worse yet, could Bear have given me a virus last week? Sassy has been getting up to pee in the middle of the night (tent walls are thin) so we don’t have the exact same problem.

I don’t know how they got up to place the flag

We were hiking along in our standard formation: Bear in the lead to keep Sassy from running herself to death, followed by Sassy; followed by Bunny; with me in the rear. I use my position in back to take pictures and space myself further back so I can rest more often in the shade. I was thinking of how I would have run Medieval England as a benevolent king (I don’t use ear buds to listen to podcasts). I started to realize Bear likes the lead so he doesn’t have to watch Sassy in dangerous situations. As that realization came to me, Sassy affirmed it by falling.

Once she was on the ground, she started dragging her butt like a dog trying to express herself. I tried to tell her to relax a minute before she moved to make sure nothing was broken. She responded “I’m trying to get out of the sun.” Bunny and I tried to shade her as she continued expressing herself towards the nearest tree.

Fortunately, nothing was damaged other than ego. We agreed to take an extended break at the next water stop at the 9.5 mile mark. Even ill, I had a hard time keeping up with her. I’m sorry Sassy is feeling ill, but I like not being the weakest link in the group for a while. Even though Bunny did virtually no exercise in the off season, she already has her cardio back and can hike the same pace all day. I need someone else to slacken things up for a while. Sassy has stepped up for me.

Bear scouting out the stream ahead trying to find shade

After a long lunch by a cold creek in sparse shade, we wet ourselves down for the impending climb. It was a 2.5 mile walk with a gain of just over 1000’. This works out to about 400’/mile of grade. On the AT, this is known as “level.” The PCT is a much nicer and forgiving trail than the AT. If you ever take your eyes off your feet on the AT while your walking, you’re going down. Not so on the PCT. Most of the time, you can look around while walking without any fear of falling.

This is a smoke cloud from a fire up north

There were a few sections in this 1000’ ascent where we were walking on narrow shelves with significant drops beside us. I looked back to see that Bear was in front of Sassy. I stay in front of Bunny for the same reason. It only took us about an hour and a half to make the climb. Near the top, we encountered lots of smoke. There are several wildfires in Nevada and California, already. Bunny and I hope we can finish the PCT this year. It’s giving us fits.

Coming down the south side of the pass, we quickly dropped below the smoke. For some strange reason, I was still leading as we were descending. I saw an old man with skinny legs and a long beard approach me. Donkey and Chia had told us there was an octogenarian hiking the trail. I asked him how many times he had hiked the PCT. “I’m finishing up my 9th and 10th times this year. I have just a few hundred miles left.” This was Billy Goat. He’s 82 years old. We talked for about 15 minutes, all the while his back was to a steep fall. Every time he rocked back and forth, I got more nervous.

We had passed 3 old women prior to meeting Billy Goat. He told us they were his traveling companions. He’ll hike to where they’ve set up camp and cooked supper. He’ll eat what they’ve cooked then lie on the ground and go to sleep. He only Cowboy camps.

Being in back gives me more shade breaks—I seem to be the only one effected by the sun

Even though we made our 13 mile target today, we’re going to be just a bit shy of making it to Sonora Pass in time to catch the shuttle to Kennedy Meadows North on Wednesday. We went through all of our food and decided we have enough to spend an extra night out and catch the early shuttle on Thursday.

EFG

Day 10, Sunday, July 11. Pennsylvania Creek, TM 1598.5–(9.3 miles)

The up-side of dehydration

Good news and bad news? Bad news first.

It’s been 9 consecutive nights that I’ve slept through the night without having to get up to pee. I’m not completely ruling out the possibility that I’m just peeing in my sleep and the low humidity dries out the tent by morning. However, if this were the case, I’m sure Bunny would have at least put her hand in the puddle at some point and we’d be buying another new tent.

Last fall, these plants were all dried out and brown when we walked through large patches

If I make it a single night off trail without getting up to pee, it’s a big deal. 9 nights in a row! I’m either dead or severely dehydrated. I drank 3 liters of water when we got in camp last night and only peed once before bed. I thought for sure I’d be up at 3a humming a Phil Collins song—🎶 tonight’s the night, ooohhhh, we’re gonna make it right tonight, ooohhh 🎶. Instead it was 🎶 It never rains in California 🎶. Bunny’s ecstatic, I’m frightened of the coming apocalypse.

Sunrise on the trail…maybe, mid morning sun on the trail might be more apt

On to the good news. Today was the most pleasurable poop experience of my life. I’m even including all the times porcelain has been in the picture, which wasn’t the case today. We slept in until 7:15. I didn’t even get up to pee until we had our coffee and oatmeal (but I digress). The oatmeal and coffee worked its magic. I was slightly rushed, but the temperature was perfect. We had a clear blue sky. The birds were singing. A bunny rabbit even frolicked by in the woods. The soil was nice and loose thanks to the prairie dogs. There were no mosquitoes. Other than not peeing for 9 nights, I had not a worry in the world. I’ll stop with details here other than to say this experience equaled the first 5 days on trail in volume alone. Life is good.

Not even a baby deer worries when your pants are down

Every dog has its day. Stated another way, we all have our off days. Today’s was Sassy’s. Yesterday she muscled through the Imodium withdrawals, but it took a huge toll on her energy reserves. The trees were much happier dealing with the withdrawals rather than the explosive artwork which painted the forest (and will remain until the next major rain storm). Today, she just didn’t have the oomph to climb (I can relate remembering my first 4 days on the trail this year).

Sassy is not 100%, not even 75%, but I still can’t keep up

The first 3 miles out of camp, she was cruising. The next couple she did ok, but when we had a 2 mile climb in the full sun, she was done for. She tried to pretend she was fine, and none of us were going to argue with her. She kick boxes in the non-hiking season. I’ve seen her cat like reflexes kick Bear’s glasses off his face. I always keep a slice of bread on me just in case she decides to come after me. It’s her Kryptonite. As the last 3 days have shown, even deadlier to her than to Superperson (it’s the 2020s and I’m afraid of political flashback being a white male).

We encountered volcanic mineral deposits similar to this in Haleakala last year

We tried letting Sassy lead. We tried going slow. We tried chasing her uphill with a bagel. We tried dangling food in front of her. We tried soaking her with cold water. All to no avail. We settled on stopping a few miles short of our goal and letting her take a long nap. That’s when we discovered her Spanish heritage and her unspoken need for a siesta. We may have to make some adjustments to accommodate in the future.

We actually do hike. BTW, what color is the pack on the leading hiker?

There was a moment of civic/patriotic pride today. As we were climbing towards the Nevada side of the Sierra, we noticed a pocket of smoke below The Nipple. Either the Nip just had sex and was smoking a cigarette to relax, or there was a small fire about a mile or two off trail. We had Carson City in our sights, so we had enough signal to check the the CA fire page and the PCTA page to determine if this was a known event. It wasn’t, so we called it in. It took us 3 tries until the CA fire department told us to just call 911. We gave our exact gps location and direction the smoke was from us. Within an hour, there were two flyovers. There are already a couple of bigger fires in the area, so they might let it go for a couple of days, but at least we did our part.

Notice the small smoke plume center right

The helicopter flew over shortly after we called it in

A major milestone was passed on this otherwise short day of hiking. We passed 100 cumulative miles of trail today. It struck me at supper that we are actually in the land of Jon Muir and Ansel Adams. It is fucking beautiful here and we’re not even to the best parts yet. The final mile of trail today was through an old growth forest of incense cedars. These guys and gals (I’m not certain how to sex a cedar) are the biggest cedars I’ve ever seen. We picked the one that appeared to be the grandparent of all the others. I feel best when I’m in a forest, no matter what the makeup of the forest is. But I’m in complete awe of these old cedars.

We encountered a valley filled with these huge incense cedars

EFG

Day 9, Saturday, July 10. Tamarack Lake Outlet, TM 1589.2–(15.0 miles)

Three cheers for Kit Carson and his pit latrines

Kit Carson was in this area a full 2 years prior to the Donner Party. In his honor, the National Forest Service has installed a memorial marker on the exact spot where he carved his initials into a tree. But that’s not all they have done to honor his memory (as if Carson City in Nevada wasn’t enough), they have installed a couple of parking lots with pit latrines. If you want to get a hikers attention, put out a picnic table, give away treats, or build latrines. There are in excess of 3 pit latrines on Highway 88…Kit Carson was a truly great man.

Standing underneath the PCT mileage sign at the pass and people didn’t know what the PCT was

The exact location Kit Carson took vengeance on a tree

The saddest part of this saga was that we camped 2.8 miles north of Carson Pass. That’s a good hour and a half of agitation on swollen intestines after a healthy morning feed (which always includes a lubricating large cup of coffee). I tried to save a portion for Mr Carson…but I failed and left everything I had behind near our camping spot. Double Barrel Sassy and Bear both kept an honorific load for the pass.

Bunny sheds a tear realizing she had nothing left to give

Another significant fact about this Pass: when the Mexican/American War ended (the same war that prevented rescue attempts for the Donner Party), a brigade of Mormon soldiers established the route from West to East back towards Salt Lake City. This became the Immigrant Trail that allowed pioneers to flood into the Central Valley of CA.

Since we went an extra 2.5 miles yesterday, we should have been able to cut our hike down today. Bear and I came up with an idea and presented it to our associates on the trail—if we hike 17 miles today and pull a 20 tomorrow, we should be able to catch an earlier shuttle into North Kennedy Meadows on Wednesday. Since Sassy was under the gluten spell still, the idea didn’t fly. I agreed with the women and did as any good husband will, I turned on Bear and threw him under the bread truck. (Gluten and Bear are very very bad!)

I hate to pass up a chance of getting a dead tree in the picture

My hiking companions refuse to take a picture with me in it

Bear is convinced Sassy is over the gluten she ingested and that she’s now in Imodium hangover. Whatever the case, we are thankful she’s not 100%. With Sassy ill, and Bunny fighting a bad hip, I could just keep up. Bear and I put on a show that we were willing to go the extra miles for an earlier shuttle, but our wives are against it. Of course, we acquiesced and stopped earlier than we would have liked to. There aren’t 2 more saintly hiker husbands than us.

You gotta love a rock formation called “The Nipple”

A rare moment when I’m out front…should have used chapstick much sooner

We had 4 descent climbs today. When I say descent, I mean in excess of 400 feet. The last one of just over 500’ took us up to the side of a mountain at 9100’. I am afraid of heights and we had a full 2000’ of exposure in a rock slide field that stretched for well over a half mile. I like to go first in these areas: 1) if I wait, I’ll freeze up, 2) if Bunny is ahead of me, I’ll freeze up, and 3) if I slip, I’m way past Carson Pass where I can honor him in a way that doesn’t include my pants.

Dune buggies ahead of us crossing our trail

I was pretty sure the new sun shirts made a difference for us yesterday. Today, I have no doubts. This simple piece of cloth with a hoodie saved my life. Over the high point today, we walked over 3 miles in direct sunlight. I did sweat, but I didn’t overheat. This will now be a standard piece of clothing for me on any warm weather expeditions.

The modified plan was to get water at the Tamarack Overflow then hike 1.4 more miles to a camping spot by a pond. The comments mentioned lots of mosquitoes, and none of us were looking forward to 🎶 wasting away in Mosquitoville, looking for our head nets and deer 🎶. Bear climbed up the Boulder field and found a couple passable spots. Thanks to his heroic action, we were still able to set up camp, eat, get ready for bed, and get in bed well before sunset.

One last shot of “The Nipple” before bed

EFG

Day 8, Friday, July 9. Upper Truckee River, TM 1574.2–(10.7 miles)

And then there were 3…shoot, 4. Even I forget me

We had already made arrangements with Malcolm T (I pity the fool who tries to mess up our plans) to get picked up at 10a, so we could have a leisurely final morning in South Lake Tahoe. Unless one of our fabulous readers gifts us a home in the area, this will probably be the last time we visit unless we hike the Tahoe Rim Trail again.

Thanks to Mr T (in the middle) for the ride to the trail

Driftwood for breakfast with a quick stop at Subway to grab a sandwich for lunch followed by leisurely porcelain and packing time. (I suppose both are specialized forms of packing). We did not get our usual table even though this was our second time there. We did get the happiest waitress on the planet. We asked her if she was the owner to which she replied “I’d be the happiest person on earth if I were!” This was too much joy and glee before we had our first 4 cups of coffee.

Our plan was smokin’. We were back at the hostel by 9:07 to begin our final preparations. 4 overstuffed hikers, 1 porcelain throne, and 53 minutes among us. Figuring 4 logs each, that gives 3 minutes 19 seconds per birth. Life doesn’t get any better than this. Bunny usually doesn’t use 4 minutes for the entire experience. Bear and I had already called dibs on partner’s excess Boom Boom time. I was looking at over 6 minutes per launch.

Before the first one of us could enter the star chamber, a hiker walked by asking if we needed a ride to the trail. I said “no thanks, we’ve already made arrangements.” Sassy chimed in “unless you’re Malcolm T.” He wasn’t, but the fool had contacted Mr T and he was downstairs waiting for us. Mr T had tried to call us to go to the trail earlier. We were caught with our pants down. It was crunch time. I offered to forgo my allotted time since I had pulled a partial earlier.

I don’t get tired of looking at this puddle

Bear started rushing and lost a contact in his eye. I was mostly packed so I took my pack down to secure our spot. Bunny and Sassy quickly followed. My nerves were shot and my bowels wanted to follow suit. I performed an express mission in the computer room bathroom while Sassy and Bunny sweet talked Malcolm T. The other hiker wasn’t happy, but he was a nobo…dead to us once we get to the trail.

Between Bunny, Bear, and me, we located Bear’s missing contact in the upper right quadrant of his eyeball. Bear performed an extraction, finished packing, and reinstalled his lens. We ultimately hit the road at 9:50. Since there were 5 hikers, I was relegated to the bed of the pickup truck (it’s only fair—I am the youngest of the group). Sassy talked Mr T into stopping at a CVS to see if we could find salt tablets to replace all the electrolytes we are sweating out in the heat. I managed to fall asleep in the back of the truck on the ride up.

After all the climbing, we end up in a meadow above South Lake Tahoe

We had a modest goal of 8.3 miles today. This seemed reasonable since we weren’t going to start hiking until 11. When Malcolm dropped us off, Bunny still had to tape her toes (blisters on top of both big toes) so we had another 15 minute delay.

This section of trail is one Bunny and I had hiked last fall when we did the TRT. We knew it was one of the steeper climbs we had experienced on the PCT with grades over 800’/ mile. Nothing like the Whites on the AT, but steep by PCT standards. We just told Bear and Sassy to go ahead. We knew we couldn’t keep up with them. We made them a promise a few days ago that if we ever made plans to hike with them again and we’re in this bad of shape, we wouldn’t show up.

I don’t know if I’m getting used to the altitude, or if I’m beginning to develop some cardio, or if it was cooler, or if the new sun shirt made the difference, but I felt pretty damn good today hiking up the 1400’ in about 2 1/2 miles. We didn’t go fast, but we made it. I would walk ahead, find a shady spot, and wait for Bunny. I’d let her catch her breath and have a drink of water before I’d dangle a carrot in front of her and head up again.

We were only a couple miles south of highway 50, but we saw almost no one on the climb. Just a couple days ago, we saw hundreds of hikers just north of here. We felt like we were in a remote wilderness to ourselves. As we neared the top, Bunny checked her phone to see if she had cell signal to try to keep up with what’s happening with her daughter’s pregnancy. Just as she checked, Sarah called and gave her an update on her first Dr visit since finding out she was pregnant. Bunny is about to have her first grandchild and I need lots of help to convince her to name it Sheldon Cooper Swayne if it’s a boy.

We finally caught up with Bear and Sassy at the top as planned, but they had been waiting so long, they had already eaten. Sassy also discovered the sourdough bread we had at supper last night, wasn’t real sourdough. In effect, she had been slipped a gluten Mickey. She headed up the hill with her orange bag which is an indicator of an imminent environmental disaster.

Looking back towards South Lake Tahoe and the rich people’s airport

This was bad news for Sassy but good news for us. Our only hope of keeping up with them is if one of them is deathly ill. This could be the break we need to get in the game.

We briefly talked with Bear and he indicated they were thinking of pushing past our goal of Showers Lake for the day. Sassy is not sick enough that we’ll be able to keep up. We said we’d discuss it more later if we can catch up with them at the next water point in 4 miles. They took off while we were eating our subs.

The Upper Truckee River (and junction of TRT &PCT) south of Lake Tahoe

10 minutes is all the more we took after they left, but we didn’t catch a glimpse of them at all. We finally saw a young couple filtering water at an unidentified water source. Bunny and I were down to our final swallow. I was about to ask the young couple if they had seen a really old couple pass by recently when I saw Sassy picking up her pack.

This looks like a volcano cauldron to me, not sure if it really is

Bear and Sassy waited while we filtered water and had a quick snack. They slowed their pace down so the young kids could keep up the rest of the way. Just before Showers Lake, we ran into a couple of guys riding motorcycles on the trail. Strider had told me to keep my head down and not enter other people’s worlds, but I couldn’t let this pass. I told them this was the PCT and motorcycles are not allowed. If a ranger sees them, they are looking at a fine of a few thousands bucks. We saw a guy riding a bike in a wilderness area in WA get a $500 fine. Surprisingly enough, they didn’t argue and looked like they were going to get off the trail.

Showers Lake was crowded. We saw at least 8 tents. We could have found space, but we decided to push on another couple of miles to find a less crowded space. I think the real goal was to get past the point of where the TRT breaks away from the PCT so I’ll quit pointing out what happened at this spot when Bunny and I hiked it last year.

Alpine glow on the mountains to our east

We found a beautiful spot in the trees large enough for 5 tents. Just as we set up, a nobo thru-hiker showed up. We convinced him to stay sighting “crowds ahead.” By the time we finished supper 2 more showed up. I feel better knowing there are 3 other tents nearby that have food inside of them. I still can’t convince Bear and Sassy to keep food in their tent to confuse the bears. At least now I won’t have to get up in the middle of the night to move our food to their vestibule.

EFG