We were hoping for a day of recovery from the heat we experienced yesterday. Looking for relief from heat in the bowels of hell is probably not the smartest move. Not to say that Seiad Valley is like hell, I merely mean that Seiad Valley can give hell a great run for its money regarding temperature (and brimstone smells from fire). Sassy underwent a religious conversion.
Typically, we eat, shower, eat, launder, eat, relax, eat, and go to bed when we come to a town. One of the great things about trail life is it makes you appreciate the simple things in life like chairs, running water, flushing toilets, and soft beds in air conditioned rooms. Although Wildwood Tavern and Lodge caters to hikers, it doesn’t cater to geriatric, spoiled hikers looking for a break from the heat to cool down enough to quit asking themselves “why in the hell are we doing this to ourselves?” Wildwood, even though it has Lodge in its name, only allows hikers to camp beside the tavern. There is no lodge.
We got up at 7:15 (with just a small nudge from Bear who had been awake for nearly an hour and a half) and decided to walk the 1/2 mile into town to Seiad Cafe. Like most businesses, Seiad Cafe has been impacted greatly from Covid. Like most trail towns along the PCT, thru-hikers are keeping small businesses in these towns afloat. Thru-hikers are finally achieving what they have secretly been dreaming of happening…they are welcome and appreciated even though they smell like urine, sweat, and feces swirled together and allowed to ferment for a week. They smell this way because they, for the most part, have avoided a shake here, an extra wipe there, suffered a bit too long in the sun, and fermented for a week in the process. They smell like what they are. But they are welcome at last.
Seiad Valley has 3 businesses that thrive on hiker business: Wildwood Tavern and Lodge, Seiad Cafe, and the aptly named, Seiad Store (adjacent to the Seiad Cafe). All three of these businesses are really doing all they can to appeal to hikers by stocking foods hikers like to carry, feeding food to hikers that they like (non-dehydrated is usually sufficient, but both Wildwood and the Cafe are cooking delicious meals in hiker friendly sizes), and stocking drinks hikers like—beer being a large portion of the mix.
We discovered several interesting facts while walking down and eating breakfast. Seiad Valley is Bigfoot Country. There is even a 300+ mile Bigfoot Trail that runs through Seiad Valley. Don’t put on your hiking shoes too fast, though. Because of Covid travel restrictions, Bigfeet (meaning plural of Bigfoot) were unable to re-enter the country from their winter location in South America. They did try to sneak in with the Guatemalan group of teens earlier in the year, but were easily identified and singled out by our border patrol and repatriated to Japan. This was due in large part to the fact that they were all wearing face masks before the CDC recommended them. Up to that point, only Japanese citizens routinely wore face masks. Knowing that bit of info, it’s hard to say our border patrol doesn’t racial profile, but the proof is in the face mask.
Another fact we discovered was that we had entered hell. In reality, hell is probably cooler, but, nonetheless, we were sweating bad on our return walk from the restaurant and it wasn’t even 10a yet. Nor were we wearing packs. Of course, this caused everyone to wonder if this was the apocalypse and if we should look for some place cooler to hike. It was only 102 today and the humidity was less than 40%. All four of us are from southern states so we’re used to triple digit humidity, but for some reason, today’s heat was terrible. I tried to talk Bunny off the ledge (more like onto the crest) by pointing out we are normally a mile higher than we currently are and that the elevation “might” help out with the temperature. She knew it was 102 here, so it’s too hot on the trail.
In the end, Bear pulled off one of his greatest maneuvers at compromise I have ever witnessed. He got Bunny and Sassy to agree to a road walk of 7 miles tomorrow, in the heat of the day when it’s supposed to get to 107. What did it cost us? A reward for all of us. He arranged to have the shuttle from Wildwood pick us up at the end of the road walk then drive us to an air condition hotel (actual AC in the rooms with beds!) in the next town where we will sleep for the night to bring our core temperatures back down into the “human range.” The next day, the shuttle will pick us up, drive us back to the end of the road where they picked us up the day before, and we’ll climb the mile up and out of the valley (also during the heat of the day).
Bear is a genius. I’m serious here. He got our wives to agree to do what they had agreed to do but changed their minds about doing. All it cost us what what we wanted to begin with when we came in town…a night in a cool hotel with a soft bed. He even promised them a zero in the next town which we had already agreed we were going to do before we got into this town. No wonder Bear was able to make a successful career in a high intensity organization like NASA. He can read people and give them what they want even after they agreed that what they wanted is what they wanted. It makes me wonder what kind of stuff he’s tricked me into doing that I had agreed to do even before I knew I didn’t want to do it but did it. I’m not sure if he’s genius or evil genius.
To recap, we’re going to get up in the morning and pack up. We’re going to walk to the Seiad Cafe and eat breakfast (the entire walk to the cafe is on the trail). After breakfast, we will walk another 6.2 miles before we are picked up and driven to an air conditioned hotel in the next town. We will eat lunch in a restaurant after we get to the next town. We will grill steaks at our hotel (we’ve already checked…they have a bar-b-que for us), we’ll eat breakfast in another restaurant, then the shuttle will pick us up and drive us back to where they picked us up. Our wives are happy. We get 3 extra town meals. We’re all happy. It’s still hot as hell, but everyone is happy. Yes, evil genius!
EFG