Last night we had 4 engineers in camp. That means we were able to communicate in Klingon without our wives understanding. We discovered Bobo and Big Bird used to work together at a paper mill in Washington. Big Bird just retired in February and had plans to travel a lot, but all those plans got cancelled when Covid struck. When Bobo asked him if he wanted to hike part of the Oregon PCT, he jumped at the chance to get out of the house. There was one other hiker, Get Smart, in camp with us. Mr Smart was up most of night and gone by 7. We were ready by 8.
Today, we were slow moving but steady. Contrast that to our normal day of slow moving but erratic and the improvements are very apparent. Now that we have reservations in Ashland, we just see today and tomorrow as obstacles we have to maneuver through to finally get a few days of rest. We’re basically hiking zombies looking for brains. 🎶 With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’, I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain 🎶
I discovered the hazards of being the guy in back. Bear goes first and beats the shrubs. Sassy goes second and kicks up some dust. Bunny goes next and steps in a hole. I’m last and the yellow jackets are pissed because someone stirred them up, kicked dust on them, and stepped on their hive. It only makes sense that I, Easily Forgotten, the innocent, gets stung multiple times by enraged yellow jackets. The first sting, I didn’t realize what was going on. I reached down to my sock to look for the thorn that I thought had stuck me when another stings my hand. I now realize I’m under attack and yell “I’m getting stung.” Sassy comes to my rescue by yelling “run!” and gets everyone to abandon me. It’s all part of the master plan orchestrated by Bunny to get me. They must have promised Bear immunity if he would help. He fell into their plan believing they’d let him live. Silly fool.
Not much further up the trail, we saw a couple sitting on the side of the trail eating a snack. They looked vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn’t place them. The guy was looking at me pretty intently thinking he knew me. We finally introduced ourselves then it clicked. This was Road Kill and Goldilocks who have a YouTube channel I was watching earlier in the year. They continued hiking after Covid-mania began and they took a lot of crap for continuing to hike. Well over 600 thru-hikers continued, but those who stayed in the limelight took a tremendous amount of heat. Watching their videos gave me the incentive to continue with our plans for the year. Road Kill and Goldilocks had watched our YouTube channel last year and, I’d like to think, we helped to inspire them, in some way, to hike this year. At any rate, it was nice to be recognized.
Since Bunny and I had an unexpected interaction with strangers on the trail, Bear and Sassy felt compelled to do the same. The next hiker we passed was Rev. The connection to Bear and Sassy is that Rev is originally from Alabama. Trust me, finding 3 hikers from a Southern State is a big deal. Southern states are better known for fried food, sweet tea, and a sedentary life (the oppressive heat might be a big factor), but hiking is not a normal unifying factor. But the coincidences don’t stop there. We had a connection as well. For 6 years, Rev preached at a baptist church in Cape Girardeau, MO—Bunny’s and my last known residence. He also has a YouTube channel; “The Hiking Rev.” While we were talking with Rev, I saw Sassy slip something up Bear’s pant leg. Shortly thereafter, Bear was stung by a yellow jacket. The poor fool actually believed they’d let him go if he helped. P.T. Barnum was right.
Today’s mileage was once again driven by water and proximity to Ashland. We started the day 25 miles out. We barely completed a 20 mile day last week and it’s too soon to push for a 25 mile day. The last water was about 15 miles up the trail from where we camped last night. I was pushing for getting water at the last possible location then hiking a few miles closer to town. The women revolted at the idea and Bear turned on me even though it was originally his plan. I was defeated.
We did stop for water a couple miles before what Guthook reported as the last water. Big Bird and Bobo told us the last water was not good but water at the camp before it was really good. We made an early stop for water, just in case. What we found when we stopped was a potentially creepy guy or a lonely old man who hiked up to an old place that he used to come with his wife when she was still living. Bear and I leaned towards the latter while our wives leaned toward the former. At any rate, the old guy was helpful before he creepily disappeared before our eyes. We had overlooked the third, most likely possibility—a ghostly apparition.
It was a quick 2 miles to our target for normal hikers. We aren’t normal hiker. We decide to stop and cool off in the shade of a pit latrine. It wasn’t gross. This pit latrine has received the highest of praise from other Guthook users. This is a 4 star privy, very clean and worthy of the praise. From here, it was a quick mile to camp where we found great sites and a slimy puddle that Bobo and Big Bird warned us against using. Since they don’t have Guthook, they didn’t know about the piped spring 100’ to the right.
I got our water then went back to the camp to set up. It was a pleasant evening to sit outside and cook as a tramily. The only bad thing was when the yellow jackets showed up. Sassy broke out some special chocolate with CBD in it to celebrate our 1,000 mile mark of hiking together. When we got to our dessert, Bunny gave me 5 extra M&Ms. The gig is up. Tonight’s the night Bunny plans to kill me. Sassy, who I thought was being generous, is in on the plan. She’s responsible for knocking me out while Bunny does the rest. I wonder if they tricked Bear into digging the hole. I wish I could say I won’t sleep a wink tonight, but I’ve been drugged. Send police to start looking for a grave around Sobo TM 925. I’ve had a good, albeit short, life.
EFG