Over the course of nearly six months on the trail, we have developed a ritual we perform whenever we take a zero day. Bunny started it, but I am a willing follower (the good husband ALWAYS does as told). It’s very simple to perform. Bunny lights 6 candles and places them in a circle around us in the hotel room. She grabs a pair of scissors and commands me to stand naked in the center of the candle circle. With the scissors in her left hand, she grabs hold of the first appendage of mine she can reach and invokes the goddesses of the clouds to come forth with all their might, and smite the other hikers still on the trail. She then starts to cut the appendage in her right hand (usually my left thumb—I’m obedient, not stupid). To seal the deal, she then chases me around the building 3 times with the scissors raised to stab me. If I win the run, it will rain. If I don’t win, well, you can see the scars on my thumb and count the number of times I’ve lost.
We slept in not waking up until after 8. We had to walk all the way across the parking lot to the office to get our breakfast. It was starting to sprinkle already. By the time we were done eating, it was a full downpour. Bunny had performed her magic once again. I felt sorry for our friends still on the trail, but, when we get behind closed doors, and she lets her hair hang low, Bunny is the scissor lady.
There is no better sleeping than a full downpour when you are inside all dry and comfy knowing you are safe and all your friends are miserable and jealous. I slept like a baby until Bunny tried to take my temperature.
The agenda for the day only involved sleep, opening packages, and repacking. When we checked in yesterday, we had four packages waiting for us. Christmas morning on the trail, again. First was our food box we had shipped ahead, no surprises there. Next was a new pair of inserts for our new boots. Bunny is very influenced by total strangers telling her how great products are when we have had success with a competing product for years. This time, it was inserts. Mule had told us Birkenstock inserts were far superior to SuperFeet even though we have been using them for years. I’ll try one pair before switching back.
I opened the box of boots from Merrell expecting to find new pairs for both of us, and there was only mine. I like Merrell and don’t want to switch, but this could be the last straw for Bunny. They screwed up shipping on her last pair as well. She called them, but we couldn’t track where they were until the end of the day.
I’m sure everyone has noticed a highly reduced number of beloved selfie photos and pictures of people we meet on the trail. My Olympus camera has had an issue from day one and I finally sent it in for repair only to get screwed by the great Satan on Olympus. Today, I got a new Panasonic camera and immediately liked it since it didn’t have Olympus on it.
Round About called while we were napping and opening boxes. She had managed to make it into town before the rain started. Our feeling of joy were slightly diminished when we heard she had avoided the rain, but then she told us she had walked 2 miles in the downpour to get to the Post Office. Bunny became happy again. A little later, we got a call from Bear and Sassy that they were in the same hotel as us and had spent the morning trudging down Greylock in the rain. Bunny was ecstatic. I felt sorry for them, but Bunny slapped me and told me other people’s misery only makes us stronger and that I should revel in it as she does. I am a good husband…
We went out for food with Bear and Sassy and made plans for the next few days. They think they want to hike with us, but they don’t know Bunny’s diabolical nature. I try to cover for her as much as I can. It’s getting harder and harder for me to be a big enough asshole to make her look good. I can only do my best to make my wife look good. As everyone says, I am a good husband.
EFG