Day 1, Tuesday, June 30. TM 514.5—(8.9 miles)

I saw a dog masturbate. 

We made eye contact. I was filled with revulsion (I didn’t want to pet him again until both he and I showered). I was filled with sadness (he was jumping up and down on himself with full force of his front paws to get the action needed). I felt superior (I have thumbs so I didn’t have to use my body weight and hands to do the deed). I felt nostalgic (my teen years seem so far gone). I was filled with an urgency to get back on the trail (when even dogs are so bored they masturbate rather than lick their asses, we’ve all spent too much time in quarantine—I’m pretty sure Fox News was on). 

I saw a dog masturbate. I immediately checked the status of the PCTA to see if we could hike on our permit dates. They stated our permits are still valid and only valid if we start on the permitted date at the permitted location. However, they strongly recommend to avoid long distance hiking in the Covid age. Our permits were for 6/30 starting at Bridge of the Gods heading south. I’ve only hiked south 1 time on the AT and it felt wrong. It made me feel dirty. I hated it. I saw a dog masturbate…hiking south bound sounds doable. 

We checked with Dancing Dog who said she wanted to hike in Oregon with us. We told her PCTA’s stance and she said “you only live once.” She’s our canary in the cave. Dancing Dog has been working part time at an urgent care clinic and has seen COVID patients. She said she’d rather hike. If she’s willing, we’re willing. 

We contacted Bear and Sassy to see if they were still interested. They had gotten the same permits that we had. They said they were in. They were day-hiking the Mountain to Sea Trail in NC when we talked to them the first time. Once the administration gave up trying to contain COVID, they backed out. We talked to them and said we were still going to hike. We felt safer in OR on the PCT than we did in MO. Bear and Sassy live in Alabama, another strong Republican state that doesn’t want their civil liberties trampled by being asked to wear a face mask to stop the spread of the virus—gawd will protect them. They’ve even marched with their automatic weapons in multiple states (gawd apparently doesn’t protect 2nd Amendment supporters so they need their guns to protest). Bear and Sassy reconsidered. They may not have seen a dog masturbate, but they’ve seen at least 100 Bubbas with automatic weapons protesting face masks which could save their lives. They were back in.

We managed to brave multiple airports, Uber drivers, and busses to all arrive in Cascade Locks, OR to begin our hike today. Dancing Dog is only going to be able to spend a couple weeks on the trail with us, but without her support we may not have been here. (I saw a dog masturbate, multiple times, I was fully committed to hiking). Bear has friends in Portland that have agreed to support us most of the way to Crater Lake NP. Our friends, John and Jenny who we met on the Wonderland Trail, live in Sisters, OR and they have agreed to host all of us for a couple nights so we’ll be able to do laundry and hose off. Things fell into place. 

We joined a Facebook group, “Still hiking PCT class of 20” and found out over 600 people are still on the trail and making it happen. The majority of them are in the Sierra now. We will be passing them all in 3-4 weeks. 

The plan was to meet in Cascade Locks for lunch today and then hit the trail. Dancing Dog, Bunny, and I made it out by 9:45. There were only 4 passengers on the bus with us being 3 of them. It was like a luxury, private shuttle that required us to wear face masks (I knew we should have packed guns). When Bear and Sassy arrived at 10:30, we were all too amped to eat. We decided to skip lunch and hit the trail at 11:45. 

Last year, on the way out of town, an angel gave us some cherries. This year, business was much slower so we stopped by the same roadside booth and bought a few quarts. We all headed up to the Bridge of the Gods for a group photo to document our start. The bridge isn’t any more impressive this year than it was last year when we headed north to Canada, eh. 

Bridge of the Gods is the lowest elevation on the PCT. That means today is all uphill. We gained 4000’ over the nearly 9 miles of hiking we did today. It was cloudy which helped because I was pouring out the sweat. Other than the week of hiking we did in the Land Between the Lakes, Bunny and I haven’t done any serious exercise in the last 9 months since my mom died in September. 

We took our time today. We took a little over 6 hours to cover the 9 miles and gain 4000’. We didn’t really take many breaks, only 2 where we dropped our packs. The first was to have a snack after about 3 miles. The second was when we got our first real views of the Columbia River a few thousand feet below us.  We made one water stop about 3/4 of a mile before we camped. We won’t hit any water for another 9 miles, so we each carried 3 liters so we’d have enough for supper, breakfast, and tomorrow’s walk. 

Some people consider today’s terrain the toughest on the PCT. Even though we haven’t hiked for 9 months, it wasn’t that bad. I tried to convince Bear that he was much more manly than me, or Bunny, in the hopes that the praise would encourage him to carry 6 liters of water so I’d only have to carry 2. Good Chip Norris could have pulled it off, but Bear wouldn’t bite. He just said “I’m a little sissy man and my pack is already too heavy.”  It’s hard to disagree. 

Camp was set up with all 5 of us fed and in bed by 8:15. The only minor hitch was with Dancing Dog’s tent. We thought she had a smaller version of the same tent we have (she does, but not exactly). We tried to figure out how to set it up, but it looks a bit saggy. As long as it doesn’t rain too terribly hard tonight, she’ll be fine.

Bear and Sassy are just about asleep, so I’ll take our food bags over to their tent when I get up one last time to pee on said tent. They still insist upon putting a light on their Big Agnes logo. It makes an excellent target. I’m glad to be on the trail again even if I’m cramping up in my legs and my feet are freezing. I saw a dog masturbate—cold feet pale in comparison.

EFG