Day 1, Iron Mountain Shelter—10.9 miles

It was time. We’ve sheltered in place long enough that between the two of us, we are carrying the equivalent weight of bringing a dog on the trail with us. Not a little yappy shit, I’m talking Great Pyrenees. It’s not pretty. Actually, Great Pyrenees are beautiful dogs, but we don’t really have one with us on the trail. We only have her weight with us. Divided nearly evenly between the two of us. Bunny might have a slightly bigger portion of pooch butt (I always complemented Ilana on her small butt), but I got the rest of her on my stomach. 

Ilana, my last Great Pyrenees, also had a cute little tooshie

I knew it was time when Bunny’s parents joined us at their “cabin” on Kentucky Lake. They had a bit of concern about being able to get food over here, which kept them away. I became a bit suspicious when they started touching me more than usual…not just a pat on the shoulder, but more of a “Special K pinch.”  I would occasionally catch a tape measure out of the corner of my eye. I got scared when I heard them talking about needing a bigger freezer. Since I’m the last to join the family, they’ve determined I’m the first to go. If I’m going, it’s going to be to hide in the woods to extend my life. 

My in-laws don’t look thrilled that their meat supply might die too far from refrigeration to be preserved

Bunny’s parents reluctantly took us to the southern visitor center in the Land Between the Lakes (LBL) where the North/South Trail begins. I’m thinking they were not too happy about loosing their meat source, but I felt they could use the time to investigate other supplies which might not incur jail time. They even walked with us for the first 50 yards of trail. They were pretty much the last people we saw today. We only saw 1 person with a Walmart dog all day (he found the dog in a Walmart parking lot and gave it a new life).

A very well maintained trail

When the Tennessee Valley Authority was established in the 1940s, imminent domain was used to evacuate over 1000 families and 2 towns between the Tennessee River and Cumberland River in Western Kentucky. This was more people than needed to be moved to create a lake by damming the Tennessee River, but a lot of families were happy to take the money and run (but a lot of families were forcibly removed).  The intention was to develop a recreation area between the rivers. This was finally established under the Kennedy Administration when Barkley Lake was created after damming the Cumberland River. All buildings and structures were removed in the peninsula but all the family cemeteries were left undisturbed. On our “Sixth Sense” hike today, we passed way more dead people than living people as we walked by three family cemeteries.

One of three cemeteries we passed today

The trail is a very pleasant and easy walk but without anything significant to see. It really is just an idyllic walk in the woods. The portion of trail we hiked today was along the ridge which is the water divide between the Cumberland and Tennessee Rivers. We passed several cleared areas along the trail which were probably once homesteads.

Bunny was also pleased to be on a trail again–even if it was with me

Camp was supposed to have water according to the 2003 guide book we were using. There was even a sign indicating a water hydrant 150 yards from the shelter we camped by, but when I went in search of it…no luck. I ran into 2 turkey hunters camped by the fire tower where the water was supposed to be. They gave us 2 bottles of water after they told us they had been hunting in the area for the past 30 years and had never encountered any water near us. I would have been in serious, life threatening trouble if they had not given me the water. As it was, I was able to set enough water aside to ensure that Bunny would be able to have her morning coffee. Crisis averted!

Bunny, always on the lookout for snakes, avoids the rodent house to cross a downed tree

To save water, we had a meal which only required the package to be submerged in boiling water to heat it up. These meals tend to be a bit heavy to carry, but it allowed us to use much less water for supper. I used the water from boiling supper to make us hot tea to drink.

The trail shelter at Iron Mountain…we opted for our new tent

As we were finishing up our chicken masala, the hunters started up their generator. This was not exactly the sounds of nature we were hoping for, but it would help to drown out the eventual snores of Bunny. It was still full sun when Bunny commanded I go to bed. I asked what time it was and she told me 7:30. It seemed too bright to me for that, so I checked for myself (our mailing address IS in Missouri)—it was only 6:30. We’ve been married over 3 years now. I’ve been beaten down and know my place. I didn’t argue. I didn’t even question it. I went to bed as commanded. 

A true “2 person” tent from Lightheart Designs

Bunny gave me a hand full of pills she said would help me sleep. I reminded her I don’t carry life insurance (I always consider it good practice to be worth more alive, than dead, to your spouse). As I was dozing off, Bunny said “my penguin is starting to kick in.” 

“How so? Is he going to carry your pack?” 

“Who?” 

“You’re penguin.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You’re penguin!” 

“I don’t have a penguin.” 

“You just said your penguin is starting to kick in and I was wondering how.”

“I said my pain pills are starting to kick in! Get your ears cleaned out.”

Will Bunny’s penguin kick in or not?

Bunny mumbles a lot and then blames me. I just went to bed like a good husband who’s been told to do so. It was only 6:30, but it had been a long day. We had been up almost 11 hours and who knows what drugs she was giving me. 

EFG