Category: 2020 Pacific Crest Trail

The day started out wonderfully. Life is beautiful. Aren’t the bunnies sweet following us everywhere. I love the time on the trail with stunning rainbows ahead of us while unicorns prance along beside us. Today can only be described as perfect—nothing but blue skies and happy thoughts as we skipped down the trail to the magnificent city of Ashland. Look at the deer playing with the unicorns. Isn’t life just grand?

Did anyone reading this even consider calling the police or was everyone just relieved that Bunny had finally gotten rid of me? In the end, it was Bear who saved me. It was poison that Sassy and Bunny were planning, but Bear had convinced me to drink chamomile tea (which was the antidote) for supper. I actually drank the antidote before Bunny tried to poison me with the extra M&Ms. I owe my life to Bear. I’ll return the favor by dropping a waypoint where they dump his body in retaliation. 

Today was hardly recognized as anything more than an obstacle betwixt us and town. Sure, we had amazing views of MtShasta. The ironic thing is that we’re only about 50 miles from Mt Shasta, but we’re looking at almost 220 miles of hiking to get there. The PCT veers much further west before turning south and heading back east to Mt Shasta. We’ll have many more views of Shasta and lots of time to grow to despise i before we actually reach it. 

Another strange quirk of today’s hike—we were actually closer to Ashland yesterday than we’ll be at any point today; even when we end the day at Callaghan’s. It’s a great feature of trail building…make them circle the destination and dream of it to enhance the experience. 

We spent most of the day in the Cascade-Siskiyou National Monument. This is about 61,000 acres that President Clinton designated as a monument solely for the purpose of protecting the biological diversity of the area. There are a few formations of interest, such as pilot rock, but there isn’t a single outstanding geological feature that most National Monuments have. My guess is that there were some greedy industrialists (can you say Koch Brothers) that wanted to rape the land because $80B just isn’t enough to live on. 

I’ll share the blame with Bear for our trail misunderstanding today. We both looked ahead on today’s hike and saw the cutoff to Callaghan’s. We did not expand the Guthook entry out and read it completely. We both read “the cut off leads 1/2 mile” and made the assumption that it was the distance to Callaghan’s. We had a little road walk to get under I-5 at which point we were taken back up a mountain where we could look down and see Callaghan’s, and then we walked on by it for another mile and a half. If we had stayed on the road, we would have been to Callaghan’s in less than a half mile. The trail down was almost 1.3 miles long. Bottom line, we walked about 2.5 miles further than we had to and we’ll have to hike the 1.5 mile trail section once again when we leave. 

The trail down to Callaghan’s was much steeper than anything else we’ve encountered this year (with the exception of bushwhacking down to the falls below Six Horse Creek). There was lots of whining…and threats…and vows that we were not climbing out this way. Fine, we’ll walk the 1.5 miles of trail again and not get any credit for it. That will make Sassy and Bunny happy who incorrectly want credit for every mile hiked. 

We had heard that trail angels abound at Callaghan’s so getting into town will be a breeze. That can wait because there’s an even better rumor that they give every hiker a free beer. Fortuitously, the second rumor was true, while the first wasn’t true, today. We went ahead and ordered lunch, sodas, and free beer, before we worried about finding a ride to town. 

In the end, we called the airport shuttle which gives deals to PCT hikers. I only cost $20 for all four of us to be delivered directly to our hotel. The only letdown was that we discovered there wasn’t any washing machines at our hotel when we checked in. That will have to wait until tomorrow. Since we were fed and in town, it was a race to shower before falling asleep. I was the loser. I was last clean and didn’t get a nap. 

When dinner time came around, no one else wanted to go out to eat. Since I was up and wanting to go, it was decided that we’d order pizza and I would go pick it up. It was really a win-win for me. Bear offered to buy the pizza (making it my favorite type—free) and all I had to do was walk to the convenience mart, buy drinks, and pick up the pizza. Everyone ate in our room with the only requirement being “opaque clothes must be worn.” We made the mistake of letting Bear get backlit at Maiden Peak Shelter when we all discovered his “bat suit” is transparent. I’ve been using drugs to be able to get to sleep ever since. 

EFG

Last night we had 4 engineers in camp. That means we were able to communicate in Klingon without our wives understanding. We discovered Bobo and Big Bird used to work together at a paper mill in Washington. Big Bird just retired in February and had plans to travel a lot, but all those plans got cancelled when Covid struck. When Bobo asked him if he wanted to hike part of the Oregon PCT, he jumped at the chance to get out of the house. There was one other hiker, Get Smart, in camp with us. Mr Smart was up most of night and gone by 7. We were ready by 8.

Today, we were slow moving but steady. Contrast that to our normal day of slow moving but erratic and the improvements are very apparent. Now that we have reservations in Ashland, we just see today and tomorrow as obstacles we have to maneuver through to finally get a few days of rest. We’re basically hiking zombies looking for brains. 🎶 With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’, I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain 🎶

I discovered the hazards of being the guy in back. Bear goes first and beats the shrubs. Sassy goes second and kicks up some dust. Bunny goes next and steps in a hole. I’m last and the yellow jackets are pissed because someone stirred them up, kicked dust on them, and stepped on their hive. It only makes sense that I, Easily Forgotten, the innocent, gets stung multiple times by enraged yellow jackets. The first sting, I didn’t realize what was going on. I reached down to my sock to look for the thorn that I thought had stuck me when another stings my hand. I now realize I’m under attack and yell “I’m getting stung.” Sassy comes to my rescue by yelling “run!” and gets everyone to abandon me. It’s all part of the master plan orchestrated by Bunny to get me. They must have promised Bear immunity if he would help. He fell into their plan believing they’d let him live. Silly fool.

Not much further up the trail, we saw a couple sitting on the side of the trail eating a snack. They looked vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn’t place them. The guy was looking at me pretty intently thinking he knew me. We finally introduced ourselves then it clicked. This was Road Kill and Goldilocks who have a YouTube channel I was watching earlier in the year. They continued hiking after Covid-mania began and they took a lot of crap for continuing to hike. Well over 600 thru-hikers continued, but those who stayed in the limelight took a tremendous amount of heat. Watching their videos gave me the incentive to continue with our plans for the year. Road Kill and Goldilocks had watched our YouTube channel last year and, I’d like to think, we helped to inspire them, in some way, to hike this year. At any rate, it was nice to be recognized. 

Since Bunny and I had an unexpected interaction with strangers on the trail, Bear and Sassy felt compelled to do the same. The next hiker we passed was Rev. The connection to Bear and Sassy is that Rev is originally from Alabama. Trust me, finding 3 hikers from a Southern State is a big deal. Southern states are better known for fried food, sweet tea, and a sedentary life (the oppressive heat might be a big factor), but hiking is not a normal unifying factor. But the coincidences don’t stop there. We had a connection as well. For 6 years, Rev preached at a baptist church in Cape Girardeau, MO—Bunny’s and my last known residence. He also has a YouTube channel; “The Hiking Rev.” While we were talking with Rev, I saw Sassy slip something up Bear’s pant leg. Shortly thereafter, Bear was stung by a yellow jacket. The poor fool actually believed they’d let him go if he helped. P.T. Barnum was right. 

Today’s mileage was once again driven by water and proximity to Ashland. We started the day 25 miles out. We barely completed a 20 mile day last week and it’s too soon to push for a 25 mile day. The last water was about 15 miles up the trail from where we camped last night. I was pushing for getting water at the last possible location then hiking a few miles closer to town. The women revolted at the idea and Bear turned on me even though it was originally his plan. I was defeated. 

We did stop for water a couple miles before what Guthook reported as the last water. Big Bird and Bobo told us the last water was not good but water at the camp before it was really good. We made an early stop for water, just in case. What we found when we stopped was a potentially creepy guy or a lonely old man who hiked up to an old place that he used to come with his wife when she was still living. Bear and I leaned towards the latter while our wives leaned toward the former. At any rate, the old guy was helpful before he creepily disappeared before our eyes. We had overlooked the third, most likely possibility—a ghostly apparition.

It was a quick 2 miles to our target for normal hikers. We aren’t normal hiker. We decide to stop and cool off in the shade of a pit latrine. It wasn’t gross. This pit latrine has received the highest of praise from other Guthook users. This is a  4 star privy, very clean and worthy of the praise. From here, it was a quick mile to camp where we found great sites and a slimy puddle that Bobo and Big Bird warned us against using. Since they don’t have Guthook, they didn’t know about the piped spring 100’ to the right.

I got our water then went back to the camp to set up. It was a pleasant evening to sit outside and cook as a tramily. The only bad thing was when the yellow jackets showed up. Sassy broke out some special chocolate with CBD in it to celebrate our 1,000 mile mark of hiking together. When we got to our dessert, Bunny gave me 5 extra M&Ms. The gig is up. Tonight’s the night Bunny plans to kill me. Sassy, who I thought was being generous, is in on the plan. She’s responsible for knocking me out while Bunny does the rest. I wonder if they tricked Bear into digging the hole. I wish I could say I won’t sleep a wink tonight, but I’ve been drugged. Send police to start looking for a grave around Sobo TM 925. I’ve had a good, albeit short, life. 

EFG

I knew something was up the third time I saw Sassy pass our tent before 7. She used to be known as “double barrel” Sassy on the AT, but these days more than one morning excursion means trouble. Someone must have slipped her a Mickey (gluten in her case). Every trip after the first, she popped an Imodium until she finally managed to plug things up (or Bear put his finger in the dam—note to self, don’t shake hands with Bear). She wasn’t feeling great, but she soldiered on and was ready at a little past 8. 

While we were packing up, an older couple passed our camp. Bunny tried to be friendly and say “you’re up early hiking.” The old guy just grunted while the wife responded with an air of superiority “we get up early every day and hike.” Hike your own hike, just remember part of our hike reserves the right to criticize how you hike. Every day on the trail, we make time to talk to all who are willing. We laugh a lot, and sing with our beautiful trail voices (could this be the reason we rarely see wildlife?). We stop along the way to take breaks and soak our feet in a cold stream or pond. We are out here to have fun, see as much as possible, and meet people. I don’t understand people who take all the joy out of hiking and turn it into a grind. 

We saw a few other nobo hikers, but they were too into covering distance to take the time to talk. It wasn’t until we stopped for our first and only water on the trail today that we met a really cool trio of thru-hikers: Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing Maker. A mother was thru-hiking with her 18 year old son and 15 year old son. Actually, she was splitting duty with her husband, Thing Chaser, in hiking the whole trail. These kids are starting life with the right mindset. They’ve already hiked the El Norte Camino in Spain. This is a family doing it right! It was refreshing to meet such well informed, respectful young men. Thing Maker and Thing Chaser get kudos from me. 

After we left them, I started rethinking a lot of choices I’ve made in life and things I would have liked to have done different. I wish I had the balls to have hiked the AT right after high school and maybe hitched through Europe when I graduated from college. Maybe, I might have been able to conform to American society better if I had gotten some of my wanderlust out of my system. Or maybe I might have just become a vagabond. It doesn’t do any good to think about it now, unless there is a possibility for reincarnation. As I lay dying, I hope to be able to prompt my being by repeating “remember” so I’ll get it right next time. 

Today was the first day which we hiked in complete mosquito freedom. Even when we stopped to soak our feet in the Howard Prairie Aqueduct, we weren’t bothered. We were almost attacked by a pair of squirrels wanting some food, but Sassy scared them away. She didn’t even resort to throwing her shoe at them (like she did me this morning when I innocently suggested going a few extra miles today) or punching them (like she did Bear when he suggested hiking faster to get our average miles up). The squirrels only wanted food and Sassy has been having problems with food. A mild scream solved the squirrel problem. 

Once we topped the final climb for the day, we did manage to get enough signal to make hotel reservations in Ashland, OR. It took a while to decide upon a location as a group. Sassy, Bunny, and I were ready to pull the trigger, but Bear likes to comparison shop to the Nth degree. I politely reminded him that his “male card” had been suspended once before over similar actions, then he got on board and made the reservations. We’re all set for a triple zero. 

While we were finalizing our plans, we got a text from Charcoal B and Struggles telling us they had left Ashland yesterday. By the time we hike into Ashland and take our triple, we’ll still be a full 7 days behind them. It looks like we’ll not be able to catch them before Mt Shasta when we’ll jump down to Old Station to skip the section of Northern California desert we hiked last year. We hope to catch up with them in one of those places. Behind Bear and Sassy, we’ve hiked the most with Charcoal B and Struggles. 

Speaking of hiking a lot with someone, today was the day we passed the 1000 mile mark of hiking with Bear and Sassy. We will celebrate this milestone in Ashland where I’m pretty certain pizza, ice cream, alcohol, and Indian food will be involved. That will be quite a meal!

After the reservations were taken care of, we still had 4 miles to go to make it to camp. We discovered the resort next to the campground had a restaurant with a “PCT favorite hamburger” on the menu. Bear called to find out how late they were open and if they might stay open a bit longer for us. No dice. They lock the door at 6 and if we get there at 5:59, they’ll seat us (I’m sure spit will be on the menu, but from personal experience in France, it can actually enhance a dry meal). It was 4, we were 4 miles from the trail junction, we were wearing sunglasses, and Bunny was hurting. We had to try. 

There was only one way we might make it…we had heard the camp host had driven some hikers to the restaurant. If we make it to camp and immediately meet the host there was a slim possibility. We got into the camp at 5:50. Bear was a bit ahead of us when we saw a golf cart coming towards us. It was the host. We had all of our eggs in that cart and our most charming front man on the scene. It…didn’t…happen. The host said his watch was 5:57 (Bear’s was 5:52). We could tell he wasn’t willing to try. 

We made due with supper of beef jerky in mashed potatoes with peanut M&Ms for dessert, followed by a long, hot shower. The other reason we chose this campground was 2-150 gallon hot water heaters supplying unlimited shower time for hikers. We may not have gotten the burgers, but we have reservations in Ashland and clean bootys to sleep on tonight (as well as flushing toilets for the morning and picnic tables in our camp). We have achieved hiker nirvana. 

EFG

We were forced to sleep late today. Surprisingly enough, it was Sassy who put up the biggest fight. Bear was willing to sleep until 7:30, but was not allowed. We were reliving “Freaky Friday” with the role reversals. Since it didn’t directly concern Bunny, she ignored the entire situation and slept until 8. As long as we are in line for food at 9 when the cafe opens, nothing else matters. 

The only thing commendable about Fish Lake is their cafe. The resupply was overpriced and limited. The washer wouldn’t spin unless you held the door closed. The showers alternated between ice cold and scalding (on the upside, if you put in $2 instead of $1.50, you got 20 minutes instead of 3) but the drains were clogged in the women’s shower. The free camping was a joke…they allowed us to buy overpriced crap at their store, in return, we were rewarded with free passage to government lands to camp. There were only 4 camping spots anywhere near the lake. When we tried to rent a camping spot for $26, they wanted to charge us that amount for each tent. In retrospect, we’d have been better off skipping this place. 

But back to the commendable cafe. We had pretty decent biscuits and gravy. The people working in the cafe were very friendly and accommodating. The guy even brought food out to Sassy to make up for her having to wait for a breakfast burrito without the tortilla. I did go inside and buy a package of Krispy Kreme chocolate donuts to supplement the biscuits and gravy. I willingly split the package with Bunny (she got 1 and I got 5, but it’s still a split). 

While we were eating breakfast, we started talking to some other hikers that were sitting at an adjacent table. Nav was hiking with his daughter, Tree Frog, and her husband, Duckie. They started as sobo from the Canadian border but flipped to Sierra City after a little more than 100 miles. Now they are hiking north back to where they got off and will flip back to Sierra City again to continue south. I’m guessing we will run into them again in the Sierra when they pass us again. 

Sassy and Bear were willing to walk back to the trailhead. This is non-qualified mileage, (i.e. non-trail miles) so I wanted to walk the road in the hopes of another hitch. I do adhere to walking every single mile of the trail, but I am more than willing to get rides off the trail. In the end, Bear turned on his charm and yogied us a ride from a couple that came into the store to buy some fishing worms. 

Lori and Ray were driving an older model truck. It’s always been our experience that people driving older vehicles tend to be more generous to strangers. When they pulled up and looked our way, we could see they had some interest in us.  Lori had helped some hikers just yesterday. Bear started talking to them and asked if they’d be willing to give us a ride back to the trail. To our happiness, they said yes. While they were inside, we loaded all of our gear and got in the back of the truck. 

When they dropped us off, we got to talk with each other for several minutes. Ray was amazed that we were hiking close to 1400 miles this year. We tried explaining that we were heading south, but they just assumed we were heading to Washington since that is the direction the majority of hikers are headed. Lori and Ray used to be married but are now just fishing friends. Lori is petite and was a jockey for 20 years. We tried to give her a few bucks to help pay for gas, but she refused. Instead, she gave us a box of Reese’s Pieces. It still amazes me at the generosity we receive from total strangers. Even more amazing is that the less people have, the more generous they are. 

We saw more thru-hikers today. I’m sure the biggest part of the bubble will be passing within the next week. More than thru-hikers, though, are section hikers trying to get Oregon completed. Oregon was going to implement a new permitting system this year that would limit the number of section hikers allowed to hike the PCT (it won’t effect the PCT permit holders, but will limit almost everyone else). Covid forced the state to delay the new permit system for at least another year, so people are out taking advantage of the delay. 

Our initial target was South Brown Mountain Shelter because it’s the only reliable source of water for 10 miles. When we arrived, there was a couple of ladies cleaning off at the well. We had read that the NFS keeps taking the handle off of the well because they don’t want hikers to assume the water is potable. As soon as they finished, I got water to cook supper for Bunny and me (tuna and Knorr cheesy broccoli with rice). The revised plan was to eat supper at the shelter then walk another 4 miles before we camped. 

A biker rode up and started pumping water out of the well. He explained that he was keeping an eye on the well and testing water quality so the Forrest Service would quit taking the handle off the pump. John, we found out, was 73. He and his wife have been maintaining the bike trail that runs to Fish Lake for 25 years, and now, he has taken it upon himself to see that hikers have reliable water in this stretch of trail. He even tossed us a Cliff Bar for some additional magic. John is another great example of the giving volunteers that make our hiking possible. It takes thousands of people to keep a trail like the PCT navigable. Without them, we don’t even have the opportunity to hike. 

Our goal is to make it to Ashland in 4 days so we can have a triple zero to celebrate our hiking 1000 miles together as a tramily. Every extra mile we cover today, is one less mile we have to hike in the next 3. Even though we’re all hurting a bit (everyone has blisters: Bear got 4 in one day on his foot, Sassy has blisters on both big toes, Bunny got a blister on her heel that’s been slowing her down for the last 4 days, and I got a blister on my ring finger. It doesn’t slow me down, but it makes me feel like part of the group since I have a blister). We want to get as many miles as we can before Thursday so we can Nero into Ashland. I suppose that’s a long winded way of saying we hiked another 4 miles after our supper break at the shelter. 

Nearly 14 miles complete on a day when we didn’t even start hiking until 11. I have to reluctantly admit that we might be getting stronger and faster. We still only net 2 mph, but we hike in excess of 2.5 mph. We just take a lot of breaks and talk to about everyone we pass. By pass, I mean passing in the opposite direction. We have not overtaken anyone heading the same direction we are headed (unless you include the family’s with young children we blew by on the Crater Lake Rim Trail—get your toddlers out of the path of the geriatric hikers or we’ll throw them in the lake!). 

We made it to our spot before 7. Since we already had water and had eaten supper at the shelter, we just set up the tents and ate the bounty of free food we got today. I’m not the peanut butter fiend that Bunny is, but the flavor we got today is one of my favorites—free. 

EFG

I got us going by being tricked into a false early start. I mistook Igor’s movements for Bear and Sassy. I thought they were trying to get the jump on us again just like after I told Molly and Clint we are faster getting ready in the morning. It really made them a lot more competitive. People need to chill and realize hiking is not a competition. Just let us win most days by getting ready first. Side note to government agents: more mosquitoes still need to report for renewal. 

We had an easy hike to the rood. It was almost all downhill and level except for when it was going uphill. Once again, we met very few hikers and most of them were section hikers. We’re still waiting for the bubble to arrive. We really expected to run into the main bubble before we make it to Ashland. Right now, we’re enjoying the lull. Pit Stop did tell us she thought a lot of hikers may have jumped north to try to get Washington done before the snows arrived. 

We were hoping for magic at the road with an easy hitch. I had pictured a pickup truck waiting with folding chairs and 4 cold drinks waiting…2 Coke Zeros, a diet A&W Root-beer, and a Coke. We’d walk up, have a seat, take the offered drinks and cool off. As we were about to finish, the angel would ask us if we needed a ride anywhere and we’d say “Fish Lake.” He’d tell us to hop in and away we’d go. I’ve always heard you need to envision your expectations and it’s always worked (except for the lottery, my personal life, my work life, and hiking the trail). 

I got it half right. We made it to the road and got the ladies to stick out their thumbs. We kept trying to give them directions to get them to go further uphill so oncoming traffic could see them. This kind of worked. A car coming from the direction we wanted to go stopped. All the female driver from Texas saw was two dirty old men pestering two women and thought there might be a domestic abuse situation in process. When we explained we were 2 married couples hiking the PCT just trying to get a hitch into Fish Lake, she said she’d take us. The whole process took less than 4 minutes to get a ride. No sodas, though. 

We threw all our gear in back of the SUV and climbed in. We were all wearing our face masks. She told us it wasn’t necessary. We felt a bit awkward, but we took them off and lowered a window. When she dropped us at Fish Lake, we put them back on. We noticed we were the only people wearing them here. We had somehow travelled through a portal directly into the Deep South where individual rights were not going to be trampled on by asking people to be considerate of those around them. We all felt right at home since this was the mentality which caused us to decide to hike. We couldn’t wait to get back on the trail, but town food was too close. We chose to stay. 

If you cook it, they will come and stay for more. Bear and I chose the Hiker Burger special—two 1/3# all beef patties and curly fries. They even had peach pie alamode, no turning back now. We ordered, then chose a table furthest away from everyone. The PCT camping area was on the other side of the lake, so we decided to take care of all business before hiking over and setting up tents. We bought all the food we’d need to reach Ashland (after Bear and Sassy gave us the extra food they had in their resupply box). The showers and laundry were also on this side of the lake, so we headed there after all the food business was done. 

The showers were being “cleaned” and clothes were on top of the dryer, so we decided to go set up our tents first. We walked around the lake only to discover there were only 2 decent sites and they already had tents in them. Bear and I went back to the office to try to figure out what we were missing. Here’s what we discovered. In a nutshell “FU”. The far side of the lake is government land and you can camp wherever you want. The resort allows us to buy overpriced food and resupply while not charging us for the privilege of crossing their land. We tried to rent a campsite. They wanted each of us to pay full price for a site. All the other “campers” had multiple tents and RVs on a site, but PCT hikers weren’t allowed to do so. 

We gave up. We went back and found the best spots we could even though they weren’t even big enough for either of our tents. We felt good about reading the Guthook comments and finding the shower hack—deposit $2 of quarters to get 20 minutes of hot water instead of $1.50 for 3 minutes. The owners haven’t figured they are actually “giving” a perk to hikers. The washing machine was beat all to hell. It died on us twice and I had to go find maintenance. The guy was very friendly and obviously overworked. Bear ended up diagnosing the problem and the maintenance guy game me a handful of quarters to make up for the trouble. I took enough for the dryer and gave him the rest back. He looked surprised. 

We showered, laundered, and did dishes in the bathhouse. Fish Lake Resort is not really hiker friendly like Shelter Cove was. They didn’t provide towels, soap, or shampoo. If it weren’t for the fact that they serve overpriced biscuits and gravy for breakfast, we’d be out of here. Everyone knows, the way to exploit thru-hikers is through their stomachs. Nothing else matters. 

EFG

Hear ye, hear ye, it’s August 1, a day of celebration! All mosquitoes must report for voluntary extermination. Any not reporting shall be pursued and destroyed by governmental agents aka “Logan’s Run.” Why in the hell did 30 of the little bloodsuckers decide that hiding in our vestibule was a safe place? Did they not get the memo to report? I performed my patriotic duty and killed all I could, but they had more replacements in reserve. Something is very wrong here. 

We did sleep in to allow old people recovery time. Bear didn’t want to, but I interceded on behalf of Bunny and Sassy to petition for additional sleep time and had my partition approved (after Sassy reminded Bear of the glasses incident in Bend…kiss a zero goodbye for any time soon, but we got to sleep an extra half hour today). I could have gotten up normal time like Bear wanted to, but I’m just a pawn of all other parties on the trail. 

Today’s mileage was also pushed by water, or lack there of. We’ve got just one opportunity for water, but it requires nearly a half mile of walking down a steep side trail to get it. After the discussion of net vs gross miles, no one was willing to put in the additional effort just to get a few liters of water to keep us all alive, so we decided to push past the water and carry all we needed from the get go. Here’s further proof the women don’t look at Guthook, because the first 3 miles were all uphill over Devil’s Peak. 

We met Break Point at the saddle near the peak. He and his wife quit their corporate jobs and moved to WA a couple years ago. They both worked in the aerospace industry and are much happier as a result of quitting. Sounds familiar to someone else I am close to. One big difference is that they lived in California and cashed out in a strong market and probably had good savings. We still invest in the lottery. 

We were all dragging getting through the first climb even though less than 1000’ over 2.5 miles. Even Bear was a bit sluggish. It has been 11 days of hiking without a day off and we are all old. Most people may not be aware of the fact that I am the youngest member of this geriatric party, but, I’ll also admit to being tired (of watching my companions deteriorate before my eyes). We need a day off…soon.

We met one very positive female hiker while we were descending Devil’s Peak…Pit Stop. She had started in Acton on June 1 when she hurriedly decided she was going to hike the PCT. She is a nurse who found herself unemployed with the option of taking work in NY state. She decided unemployed hiking was better than employed and dying, so the PCT is her new temporary home. She told us the trail ahead was dusty with lots of loose stone and tree falls across the trail. We told her to expect the same along with lots of burn areas, lava field crossings, mosquitoes, and raging serial killers stalking at all the road crossings. Everyone wants to believe what they’ve experienced is way worse than what’s ahead. Pit Stop over played her doom and gloom. We didn’t. (Serial killers are lurking everywhere).

One thing was right that Pit Stop told us, we did pass through another large burn area. It was the usual depressing, hot, and dusty. No matter how clean we try to be, every orifice, crack, and crevice gets filled with fine dust. If the dust were flesh colored, it might not be that noticeable. I tend to wear dark clothes to help disguise the dirt, but then there’s the issue of salt stains on the clothes. Bear and Sassy both wear orange shirts. Between the salt and dust, Bear looks like he has the outlines of the seven continents circling his abdomen in white with black highlights. 

We got to the spring about 6. There was already a solo female hiker named Igor set up when we arrived. As soon as we walked into camp, she asked if we were out for the weekend. Just like that, she was dead to me. Why does everyone assume we are incapable of thru-hiking? Could it be because we’re not capable or is it because we’re old or because we believe in hygiene. Whatever the reason, we set up our tents, cleaned off below the spring (a trait of hygienic, older hikers), and ate supper outside. Enough mosquitoes had actually reported for renewal to make this evening pleasant. We just ignored the rest of the pests, including Igor. 

EFG

We are still trending in right direction. That’s trending, but not quite achieving. We made it to store before 8 with Bear and Sassy right behind. The biggest problem was that the store didn’t open until 8:10 which covered for Bear and Sassy. We had already eaten in our tents, but we were still lacking, knowing that a store was close at hand. We got a few additional snacks and drinks before heading back out. 

We had a 1.3 mile road walk which provided both additional time and mileage…time to argue about how we calculate miles. Sassy and Bunny are both in agreement that we should count all miles hiked in a day. That’s fine except that it shows they both think alike and are both wrong. The only mileage that counts is trail miles. Period. We could hike 3000 miles on this trail when you include all the side trips to campsites, finding water, going to scenic overlooks, etc, but the trail is only 2,652 miles long. If you need more miles to cover 2652, that’s great, but it doesn’t matter. 

I use the Camino as justification. The route from St Jean Pied de Port is 495 miles. It doesn’t matter if you take the Roman Road option which adds 10 miles, your compostella will still only state 495 miles. This is God’s word and who am I to question. Cogito ergo sum, Sassy and Bunny are wrong. God has spoken. 

Bear set the pace and kept driving the herd all day. Without him, we would have quit earlier and carried water to a dry camp. I loved Bear’s discipline and leadership. Bunny and Sassy we’re making death threats (in addition to the veiled threats of yesterday). It’s hard to guess who they are going to take out first…Bear has assumed the leadership role. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but worried is the head bearing the name “Easily Forgotten.” Taking me out just may embolden the pair of hussies (spoken with the kindest of intentions).

We stopped every 5 miles whether we needed to or not. Turns out, we needed to each time, if only to prevent a mutiny. Today was driven because of water availability (and Bear, it was all him—take him out first, I wanted to stop). This was supposed to be a 20 mile dry section of trail. However, someone found a “secret pond” at the 10 mile mark and then told the world. They even put a cairn up on the trail with a stick pointing to the pond. To make matters worse, they then recorded a comment on Guthook that there was a secret pond, thus showing the world they don’t know what “secret” even means by telling everyone. 

We stopped for an extended break at the “secret pond.” Bear and I wanted a 30 minute break and since we are completely in control of this hike, we took a 60 minute lunch break. In the most “un-French” manner, we even took our shoes and socks off to cool off our feet (heresy!). I’m pretty sure botanicals were even used to relieve foot pain (CBD topical oil with PCP or THC, whichever one is capable of providing “happy feet”). 

Reluctantly, Bear finally agreed the long lunch break was a good idea. Secretly, I had been on board the whole time (kill him first and give me a chance at life…I’ll move to Asia and blend in with all the other Caucasian’s—doh!). Even at  the 15 mile mark, we were all feeling pretty good. If Bear had had his way, three of us would have felt like crap and Bear would still be going strong. Why am I even a target, here? 

It was Bunny who fell apart first. Actually, it was only Bunny that fell apart, but she tried to take me down as well. It was at the end of the day at the 17 mile mark with all the loose rock in trail. It was worse than Pennsylvania ever was (I quite liked Pennsylvania on the AT. It wasn’t bad at all, but a lot of people whine about “Rocksylvania,” Sassy being one of the leaders just because she got a stress fracture). Bunny can drive the pace down to the point that snails will flip us off on the trail. Today, the last 3 miles, was one of those days. 

We did successfully make it to camp, but at a cost. Bunny says no more 20s so my goal (actually, Bear’s goal) of back to back 20 mile days may prove a bit more difficult. I did learn after out first 18 mile day when Dancing Dog was with us, that I do not mention anything about hiking long days after a long day. Lesson learned, keep mouth shut and just hike another long day and pretend it’s a short day. The women never actually look at Guthook while we’re hiking. 

To make up for Bear’s pushing our wives all day, I told Bunny to take more herbals as soon as we got to camp. I told her I’d set up the tent by myself while she changed her shoes and soaked her feet in the nearby stream. I further told her, I’ll get the water and make supper while she retires to the tent to make our beds. In other words, it was a night just like every other on the trail except Bunny now believes she’s getting a deal unlike any other night while it’s just like every other night. The only difference is, there might be enough THC in the CBD oil that this might actually work. 

This is still Oregon. This is still July. We are camped near a stream. For those who have experienced this combination or have been reading this blog, only one conclusion follows…we ate dinner in our tent because of mosquitoes. The biggest thing to note on this day is that it’s July 31. We have been promised that August is mosquito free. In a mere 6 hours, the biggest scourge of Oregon will be past us. Paradise awaits. 

We have hiked 105 miles in the last 7 days. For young legs hiking 30 mile days 7 days a week, this is nothing. We are not young, nor do we possess young legs (slavery and live organ trade are both illegal). However, we have achieved exactly 1/2 of the amount of mileage said young legs achieve, BUT we are twice the age. We have done what many believe us incapable of doing…we have proven to all the young pups on the trail that money trumps age and we don’t have to go fast. We have hiked our own inferior hike yet maintain the right to feel righteously superior. Old people rule!

EFG

Breakfast in the tent is the norm for us on the PCT. We rarely, if ever, did this on the AT. The biggest reason was because we hung bear bags every night on the AT. On the PCT, I use our food as a pillow. It’s not good for breakable items like chips, crackers, or pop tarts; so Bunny carries those items and places them on my side of the tent. She still has a strong sense of self preservation. 

With breakfast in the tent, we are able to get ready faster (in theory). We regularly started hiking on the AT by 8. We haven’t quite gotten back into the rhythm, yet, on the PCT. Today, we hit the trail at 8:09. It was our second best start yet. We are trending in right direction.

All in all, the trail bed of the PCT is lot easier to walk on than the AT and even side trails out here. The grade is rarely greater than 500’/mile and if it is, it’s just for a short distance. Contrast that to the AT where the grade was rarely less than 400’/mile and if it was, it was just for short distances. In the Whites in NH, we encountered grades in excess of 2000’/mile for stretches well over a half mile in length. That’s so steep that we’d have to put away our hiking poles and use trees to pull ourselves up. The steepness, alone, makes the PCT easier to walk on. I haven’t even mentioned the trail beds, which the PCT wins, hands down, for ease of walking. 

I mention all this because we ran into 2 thru-hikers, Marmalade and Ryan (no trail name) coming off of the rim just before we were climbing up to it. Ryan came back early from spending a couple in Spain teaching English (like our friend Kat from the Camino is doing now). She’s only 23. Marmalade is retired, but used to be a professional golfer. He did confirm one aspect of golfing for us—never trust what a golfer says as they are liars. He told us we had an easy 8 miles of downhill once we made it past the high point on the rim of the lake. Liar!

Granted, we were going slow along the rim because of the sheer beauty of Crater Lake. We stopped and took lots of pictures. However, we had momentary flashbacks to the Whites. The Rim Trail is definitely steeper than the main PCT but we had been warned that the main route isn’t well maintained and it has a cougar issue. Personally, I’m not afraid of cougars having been with one for well over a decade. Bunny and Sassy make it a point to always have their backs to trees when they drop their drawers. 

Crater Lake IS amazing. Mt Mazama was/is the volcano where Crater Lake exists. In geologic terms, this is all a very recent. The lake was formed about 7,800 years ago when the volcano collapsed on itself. The most recent eruption happened a mere 4,800 years ago…that’s about the time the pyramids were being built in Egypt. That eruption was underwater. The lake itself is slightly more than 1950 feet deep. For the outdoor sportsman, fishing is allowed without a license, but there is no catch and release. The species of fish are invasive and the NPS wants them gone. Mt Mazama is not dormant, but it is inactive (at the moment). The Cascades are due…last eruption was Mt St Helens in 1980.

After struggling along the rim for a few hours, we decided to opt for a late lunch at rim cafe. Non-dehydrated $6 hot dogs and $3 sodas, even though way overpriced, make for a nice change to the standard trail diet. Sassy was having a low sugar period so she was a bit on the hangry side (despite her kicking episodes, she really normally happy and pleasant to be around—don’t let her know I wrote that).

With only 5 miles to go, we were pretty tired.  Sassy told the group at a break spot that she’s not angry at anyone. I got very worried. All married men understand a statement like that from your wife means “she’s not mad at anyone other than her husband (Bear), and possibly any member of species in proximity with an X and Y chromosome pairing. When Bunny chimed in and said she was happy they were hiking with us, I knew Bear and I were in serious trouble of remaining alive. 

Let it be known that if the content of this blog noticeably changes from sarcastic in tone to all happy and full of bunnies, rainbows, and unicorns, that Bunny has finally carried out her threat to remove me. If an entire week goes by without any reference to poop, someone, please, call the police. Tell them to look for freshly dug gravesites less than 0.1 miles from the trail. Bunny is vindictive, but lazy. She won’t drag my body much further than that. 

We finished the day with a 1 mile road walk to Mazama Village. We, being honest, stopped at the General Store to pay for camping even though it’s not enforced. They told us there were only 4 other PCT hikers in the camping area assigned to thru-hikers, but when we went in, it was obvious that homeless people had taken up residence in the camping area. There were large tents that no thru-hiker would ever carry stuffed full of gear and provisions. 

We went to Annie’s for supper, which was surprisingly good. The wait staff was doing their best to make light of the bad situThe ation (Covid). After supper, we stopped for sponge baths in the bathroom sink since some Einstein in the NPS has decided showers are too dangerous to open (same goes for laundry), but it’s ok to fill every campsite in the campground and have communal campfire programs. There is no consistency or sense in dealing with the virus. I wish we had some national leadership. We tried to go to sleep with all campground noise associated with about a thousand people maintaining social distancing guidelines NPS style. 

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EFG

With our ride secure, we knew we had plenty of free time this morning. We slept in until 7:50 having agreed to meet for breakfast at 8. At 5 ‘till 8, I pounded on the wall we shared with Bear and Sassy, but got no answer. I figured they were still asleep, but Bear showed up at our door at 7:59. They had just been doing a little grocery shopping. 

Our waitress this morning was Brandy. She had been working last night and enjoyed waiting us watch all the fools in the storm. We started talking to her and found out she really lives in Mississippi and has been working summer jobs in various places so she can have an excuse to see more of the world. She’s worked at Glacier NP, Crater Lake NP, Elk Lake where we were at about 10 days ago, and now at Diamond Lake. She had planned to work in Alaska this year, but plans changed because of Covid. 

Reggie didn’t get off until 2, so we asked the front desk person for a late check out. Since the front desk person was Reggie, we were pretty sure that would be ok. We napped and packed until 12 and then went back into the restaurant where Brandy was, once again, our waitress. We found out more about her and were really surprised to find out she was in her mid 30s and not the mid 20s we thought she was. She likes discovering other places and challenging herself by pushing her comfort zones. Not so much so, that she’s willing to spend a winter in a snowy area. 

Reggie got off a few minutes after 2 and told us to wait out front while he got his vehicle. On the ride to the trailhead, we found out we had a Missouri connection with him even though he is originally from Arizona. A few years ago, a friend of Reggies had to go to a high school graduation in Missouri and Reggie agreed to drive if they could swing through the Dakotas. The location of the graduation? Sikeston, MO; Bunny’s hometown. Reggie decided there was more of the country that he wanted to see than a corporate job would give him time to see. He quit his administrative job and looked at Coolworks.com to find seasonal jobs in resorts around the country. He had wanted to work in Alaska this year, but Covid changed that. 

A few days ago, we heard about a couple that were hiking the Oregon section of the PCT for their 40th anniversary. Today, we met Don and Tammy. They originally decided to hike the PCT in 1980 to see if they were compatible enough to marry. They made it as far as Diamond Lake Resort before Mt St Helens erupted ending their hike. 10 months later, they had their first child. Now, 40 years, 7 kids, and 17 grandkids later, the answer to the compatibility question is a resounding “yes.” They both quit their jobs this year (thanks to Covid and lousy bosses) and decided this was the year. 

The hike today was an easy, short one. We just wanted to get ourselves in position to hike the Rim Trail along Crater Lake. Just before we got to the trail junction, we dropped our packs to run forward to a water cache to fill up for tomorrow. It was at the PCT trailhead that we ran into Lindsey Ulrich who is trying to set a new record for the PCT Oregon section. Her goal: 8 days. Today, she is over 150 miles in and it’s only her second day. We talked with her coach for a bit. 

I’ve made myself clear about trail running in past blog entries. I respect the physical stamina involved, but I abhor the whole FKT (Fastest Known Time) concept. It’s my opinion that the record setter runners don’t give a flying f#$& about the trail they are on for anything other than a tool for marketing endorsements. They show little to no interest in hikers of said trails. Lindsey’s team was no exception to the rule. They had a van load of food and supplies to support one runner. Only one, her coach, would lower himself to talk to hikers, and then he was condescending to us. We told him we were going to Walker Pass in Southern California, almost 1400 total miles for us this year. “Oh. How long will that take? A month?” 

We don’t have a couple vans of people carrying everything we need. We don’t have people that run down the trail ahead of us to protect us and clear the trail. Our non-existent support team doesn’t set up in parking lots cooking food and patting themselves on the back for a job well done. Our “team” isn’t condescending to hikers and passersby. In fact, our team is us. We carry everything we need on our own backs. Every 4-6 days, we come off the trail to shower, do laundry, resupply, eat a couple of hot meals that don’t involve boiling water, and sleep in a bed. 

I’ve ran across several “elite” runners going for FKTs and they’ve all been the same. They don’t care about the trail or people on it. They are arrogant and are trying to make money off of the trail. They don’t enjoy the experience or see anything along the way. They could do the same thing on a track and have the same experience all the while staying out of hikers’ and other trail users way. What I like to see are the runners out training on the trail that aren’t asses to hikers. Those runners will often stop and talk, and maybe even notice some of the beauty around them. Those not trying to gain fame but are out for love of the sport have my respect. Enough of rant. 

When we got to Grouse Hill Camp, it seemed as though all the camping areas were full. We passed 3 camping spots that had people in it already but the people invited us to camp with them. One couple even said “come be our neighbor.” Contrast this to the bee-atch the other night at Thielsen Creek that wanted a 20 spot campsite to herself. The people we met here are the type of people that represent the vast majority of thru-hikers and hikers in general. People who are out here for the love of the experience and who are willing to meet new people to share that experience with. This is how we’ve met most of our now closest friends. 

We thanked people for the offer but kept looking because we didn’t want to impose. Most people had already been in camp for a while which meant we would probably keep them awake while we set up camp and ate. We saw another trail leading up to an unoccupied site and decided to camp there. We set up our tents and then we’re able to sit outside, once again, while we ate supper as a tramily. 

We are nearing 1,000 miles of hiking together as a tramily. By that, I mean actually hiking together all day and camping together at night. Lots of tramilies only camp together at night and hike separately during the day. We have gotten very lucky to find a couple that hikes close enough to our pace that they are willing to slow down so we can hike with them. The most amazing thing about Bear and Sassy is that after almost 4 months of being with us 24/7, they still can tolerate me. They are part of a very select small group of people that can make that boast—not that they don’t send me to the back of the line in the hopes that I might get lost or fall off a cliff. They are human.

EFG

Sassy decided she would get up at 6 which means on the trail by 8. Something very unusual occurred with the execution of this plan, it almost worked. In fact, Bunny and I followed protocol and started getting ready 30 minutes after she told Bear she was going to kill him if he didn’t stop moving around. The biggest hinderance to the success of the plan was Bear. He couldn’t accept defeat. He even resorted to undoing my pack when I declared victory after he had prematurely declared victory when Sassy’s pack was clearly open. I offered a hollow concession by declaring a tie when it was apparent to all parties they had lost the preparation time contest. 

In the end, we were on the trail by 8:07 after I called for hiking formation. Bear has proven to be a very consistent leader and I’ve been demoted to designated survivor (or cougar bait) by being placed in the end of the line. I’ve been assured, and have personally confirmed, that my line placement has nothing to do with the amount of farting I did in the lead position. I have validated this by the dubious odors and sudden noises which happen quite consistently in front of me. 

It was a perfect day of hiking weather and an easy trail. The first mile was an easy uphill which afforded us great views of Mt Thielsen above us, Diamond Peak behind us, and Diamond Lake below us. We saw very few other hikers out on the trail. We did talk to one girl that had climbed to the top of Mt Thielsen, which we half heartedly considered doing, until we zoomed into the top of the peak and saw the scree fields we’d have to cross. 

We did meet a group of three girls, Mowana, Homestyle Turkey Dinner, and Kermit, who had just left Diamond Lake Lodge and told us it was great to hikers and getting a hitch in was easy (exactly what we wanted to hear). We told them about Thielsen Creek (where they planned to stop for lunch) as well as the water situation they were facing for the next 30 miles, or so. They had already been forced to do a couple of 20 mile water carries (what we didn’t want to hear) and they were hoping long water carries were about over for them. 

Somehow we got on the subject of music again with a little over 3 miles to go. Bear put on Sir Elton John, “Burn Down the Mission” and he and I got into a groove. Sassy and Bunny tried calling me “mayonnaise” because my movements to the music were supposedly “so white.”  Bear came to my defense with Weird Al Yankovich “White and Nerdy” which only seemed to play into their hands. At any rate, while we were listening to Sir Elton, we managed to cover a couple of miles in about 35 minutes. I’ll settle for “White and Nerdy and Fast.”

The girls had told us to call the lodge if we had trouble getting a hitch and they’d probably send someone to pick us up. We didn’t have to, though, because Zachary stopped and picked us up in less than 15 minutes of trying. Zachary is 24 and from Texas. He has a fantastic story of his own. 

Because of Covid, Zach’s trip to Germany that he had planned for this year got cancelled. He was bored and decided to drive up to see the Grand Canyon. He was amazed at its grandeur and beauty. After the trip he went back home and to work. The next time off he had, he drove up to a Rocky Mountain National Park and climbed several peaks. While there, his boss called him and told him to come back to work. Zach said “I don’t think so.” He had decided that rather than go discover Germany, he needed to discover America first. He had been saving money for years and decided that now was the time. He got a rental car and started crisscrossing the country visiting all of the National Parks. Over the last couple of months, he has hit all but Crater Lake and the 8 NPs in California. When he gets these 9 parks done, it’s off to Hawaii and Alaska for the rest. 

Zach was originally going to give us a ride down to the turn to Crater Lake, but when we started talking about his adventures and ours, he decided he’d take us all the way to the lodge. We had a great time meeting this young guy. We are very lucky to be able to meet people like Zachary and hear about their adventures. He’s only 24 but is already off to a great start in having a lifetime of adventures. It’s sad more people aren’t more open to new ideas and places. 

We headed into Diamond Lake Lodge to register. I went to the counter and the first person I talked to was Reggie. He asked if we were hikers and when we said we were, he told us he’d take us back to the trail tomorrow when he got off work. We were already set for a return before we even got checked in. We dropped our packs in our rooms before heading into the restaurant for some lunch. First round of town food is designated greasy food—either burgers or pizza. We walked into the restaurant and apologized for our smell (4 days of high temperature hiking). The waitresses all said “no worries. We love hikers.”

After eating, we checked out the grocery store (a little pricey but adequate) and the laundry. We all retired to our rooms to shower. As per custom, I am the designated laundress in town. Once a Bunny had her clothes off, I asked if I could do the shopping knowing that she had no choice but allow it. I took her suggestions and agreed to abide by them, but I also know Bunny is more of an impulse buyer in a store. As a reward for her allowing me to go, I bought her some M&Ms with peanuts which I’ll dole out on those days she’s particularly good.

The afternoon flew by fast and we soon found ourselves back at the restaurant for supper. When we walked out of our room, the sky was almost black. We chose to sit inside even though there were so many people already seated outside. We wondered what they thought was going to happen. We could already see rain on the opposite side of the lake, but boats were still out, people were swimming, and others were just sitting in the grass. We could see the storm moving towards us. There was even lightening, but no one was getting out or off of the lake. 

It looked like the lake was boiling about a quarter mile out. It was obvious that there was hail with the rain. One woman asked our waiter if hail hurt. Duh. A few minutes later, she rushed into the restaurant with her husband bleeding from being hit. When the hail really started coming down, people tried to get under trees for protection, but it was too late. They all ended up inside the restaurant waiting for the storm to blow over. It was the best dinner show I’ve ever seen, and it was free! 

EFG