It’s easy to get sucked into an outlaw lifestyle when you’re roaming the English countryside. I was never like this before I met Bunny. Now, I’m part of a outlaw brigand in England. I’m sure we’ve made international news by now. The infamous outlaw duo, Bunny and Easy Clyde. I’m thinking we might even hijack a few late night trail walkers and demand…a million squares of toilet paper.
If Covid showed us anything, it’s tp is the first thing people want in a time of crisis. We can become the modern day Robin Hood and Maid Marian passing out tp to the poor. Our motto will be “wipe your asses on us.” No one will bother pursuing us, afraid of the potential smell. We’re outlaws and living legends at the same time.
It took a bit of planning to get here. It started as most true crime stories do…we were having breakfast with an Englishman. I was explaining to Joel that if we stopped in Afriston for the night, it would be too long of a hike over the Seven Sisters for Bunny tomorrow. There’s a lot of climbing involved. He assumed we needed more adventure in our lives since he’s been telling us which British crime shows to watch.
Joel suggested that we camp in the woods above Westdean. If anyone bothers us, being Americans, we should just pull out our bibles (which are merely props for hiding our guns) and blast our way to the sea. I’m wondering if Joel watches a lot of American crime shows…
Bunny was in from the get go. She was getting excited and having flashbacks to her days on the GR10 when she began her buffet raiding. She’s been a changed woman ever since. I took a bit more convincing, but her slapping me in the face in front of Joel to make me “man up” was all it took. (At least I finally have a witness. Coincidentally, it was immediately after this that Joel told us he was taking the inland route to finish. Bunny scared him bad.)
Bunny started flying out of the hostel this morning filled with anticipation. We immediately came upon another running event today. Yesterday was kind of the sissy warm up (Bunny’s words—not mine. I know better than contradict her when she gets this way) a 100 mile relay romp across the South Downs Way. Today was the real event. A 50K and 100K race ending in Eastbourne. Her enthusiasm soon ran out when we were being passed by runners going uphill who could carryon conversations at a full trot.
I was hopeful that the runners, hang gliders, paragliders, weekend revelers, and support teams for runners would mean more mobile cafes. Not so today. Yesterday was my day. Today is Bunny’s. It was only 7 miles to Alfriston, so we’d just have to make it in a single go.
Dropping down the final push into the village, a small all terrain vehicle pulled up next to us. All of the runners had passed us by now. The farmer inside congratulated us for hiking the South Downs Way. We found out he had been born and raised in Alfriston. Every day, for the last 40 years, he has made two trips a day up to the Downs to check on his sheep.
Alfriston, we have been told, is in competition with Amberly and Ditchling as being regarded the prettiest village in South Downs. We missed Ditchling, but hands down, Alfriston is the winner. For one thing, it has a river running through town. For another, it has multiple business establishments—at least a half dozen places to eat that we saw on our short walk through town. For another, it’s charming as hell.
The first place we saw was the George in, dating back to 1397. It’s also the place where Bear and Sassy stayed last night. We tried to go in for a meal, but this was a very classy place. They refused to seat us. They obviously have standards. I like that.
We headed out to explore some more and ran into Joel talking to some other people. I recognized the man he was talking to. He was a biker. He had passed me up on the ridge and asked if we wanted to have lunch in Afriston. I was about to say “that would be nice” when the woman he was riding with chimed in. Now that we were all together, we tried to accept his offer, but he and his wife had already eaten.
Joel walked us out of town, probably to verify which path we were taking to make sure he was safe tomorrow. On the way out, we ran into an old friend about to celebrate a major milestone. We stopped and congratulated her. It’s always nice to see little people make contributions.
We had tried to find one last cafe to sit in with Joel, but it turned out to be closed. I just couldn’t get the urge for another sit down out of my system. When we got to Litlington, we heard what appeared to be a party. Bunny agreed to stop if it wasn’t private. We rounded the Costner and found the Ploughing and Harrow. It had a lovely beer garden out back. We stopped in for a glass of wine to seal the deal on our night of crime.
Everything happens for a reason. We were meant to stop at the Ploughing and Harrow. The wine was our savior. Not because we haven’t had a drink for a few days, but because as soon as we got our wine, Bunny looked up and noticed the sky. We calmly got out our rain gear and pack covers while heading to the covered seating area. No one paid any attention to us. We quietly sat back down and sipped our wine. The rain started.
It came easy at first but gradually picked up. Then the downpour came similar to our 4th day on the trail when we were heading down to Cocking. It hailed for the second time on us. We’ve been told it rarely hails in England. I guess we’re good luck for England.
At most we had another mile to go after the Plough and Harrow. I wanted to hike into Exceat and try to camp there. Bunny wanted the outlaw experience she had been dreaming about all day. We came to a set of dirt stairs in a thick woods. At the top of the stairs was a multiple trail junction with a huge area suitable for camping. We headed off into the woods another 50’ and found several sites that have been camped in. Perhaps the rest of our Merry Men will join us later.
All day long I’ve been hearing the humming of a tractor wherever I go. When I set my pack down and opened it up to pull out the tent, it got louder. I’m carrying a true, non-ultra-light luxury this year. We will be hiking the Portugues Camino in late June. I’m sure it will be hot as will be the Alburgues. Yes, I’m carrying a USB rechargeable fan. Who knows how long it was running today, but the main thing is that it’s still running.
We’re all set up deep in the woods. The sherif is going to have a hard time finding us tonight, but, if he does, we have our bibles and aren’t afraid to use them. We’re Mericans.
EFG