Category: 2019 Pacific Crest Trail

It was raining when we turned in last night. Richard Skaggs, the owner of Hiker Town, had shown up and invited us into his house to get warm (none of the buildings in Hiker Town are heated with it being situated in a desert in Southern California). Bob, the host who works for Richard, has won 3 technical Emmies and Richard was part of a production team that won an Oscar. Richard’s wife is the force in the family that fell in love with the hikers when they started buying land in the valley 16 years ago. She saw a bunch of hobos in their yard and told Richard to go chase them off. Over time, they discovered what the PCT was and started building up Hiker Town. Richard and Bob went out of their way to help us, even loaning us vehicles to drive to the cafe/convenience store 4 miles down the road. 

Richard and Bob had told us snow was predicted over night. It was definitely cold enough. We all agreed that if there was snow on the ground, we would take a zero. I was hoping, wishing, praying for snow because my ankles are hurting. I’ve never been this old before and it’s catching up with me. When I got up at 5 to pee (we’ve been through this, already. Yes, I’m an old man with, possibly, an enlarged prostrate, but two checks is enough for me. I’ll live with it), I looked out the window and only saw white. I was hopeful for the possibility of sleeping in. When Bunny’s alarm went off just before 7, I put on my glasses and saw white…sand. I was a bit bummed. 

Ivy came in and asked to use our shower since we had hot water. I told her I wouldn’t be hurt if she wanted to still take a zero to put the seed in her mind. If the youngest in the party wants a zero…we’d have to take a zero, wouldn’t we? We went out to find Wolf and get his opinion. He was gung ho to go. Military discipline is a curse. He wanted to be on the trail by 8 if possible. It was COLD out. We could see fresh snow in the mountains where we had been yesterday and fresh snow in the mountains ahead of us. It’s closing in on us. I could prevent an 8 o’clock start at least. If we pushed it too late, he might decide to take a zero and then we’d be golden. I read a weather report predicting snow flurries on Friday in the mountains between us and (Why was the chicken sitting on a pod?) Tehachapi and I’m not thrilled about that. 

Richard loaned us one of his trucks today because Bob had to take his BMW in for an oil change. The oil is the least of its problems, but it runs and we were thankful for its use yesterday. We went down to the cafe and had breakfast. Wolf was getting antsy. When we got back, it was almost 9. Bunny and I hadn’t even started packing. We waited to see what Wolf was going to do. There still might be hope. We looked around for him, but he was gone. So was all of his gear. Damn, we’re hiking. 

Bunny and I hurried, somewhat, thinking we might be able to get out just a few minutes after Ivy, but she surprised us and took her time. She ended up heading out with us and hiked with us all day. She has obviously been drawn to my trail singing voice. 

We found ourselves in a somewhat unexpected situation of walking in the desert with coats, stocking caps, and gloves on trying to stay warm and hoping it wouldn’t snow on us. As the day progressed, we worried a bit less about the snow but hoped it wouldn’t rain. These are not the usual concerns people have when walking this section of trail. We thought the 17 level miles would be a blessing and we’d make good time. We did average more than 2.5 mph with breaks, but it was brutally respective miles. It felt like the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when he’s running at the castle and the guards watch him, but he never gets closer. Ivy said it was like being on a treadmill going nowhere. 

It was interesting walking along the different phases of the LA aqueduct. Initially, we walked along an open channel of water. Next we came to a section of pipe about 6’ in diameter. The interesting part of this section was that it had been hot riveted together. Miles and miles of rivets. There had to be millions. The time and effort it had taken to install this pipe back in the 1930s or 40s. This section of pipe eventually led to a modern concrete channel about 8’ wide but completely buried in the sand, so no telling how deep it was. I don’t know if there is more than one aqueduct or what percentage of LA’s water supply this channel represents, but this is an impressive engineering achievement. 

This is the flattest section of trail we will ever hike. Even flatter that the section of the AT around Boiling Springs, PA that we hiked last year. At least on the AT, we did have some sections of trees to shade us. The only trees we saw today were Joshua Trees which don’t really provide any protection from the sun. No skin off our buts since it never made it much over the mid 50s today. I’ve said it before, but I can’t imagine hiking this in the real heat of May or June. 

We had plenty of time to think today. At least I did since I’m a male and former engineer. I don’t know what Bunnys do to pass the time. I have a new comparison between the AT and the PCT. Washington is about the same length as VA at 533 miles. California is the equivalent length of the other 13 states on the AT. That means Oregon is the difference between the two trails at about 450 miles difference in overall length. 

Our camping spot for the night was under a bridge that the aqueduct crosses a dry creek bed. I’m assuming it’s really just a flash flood channel from the mountains ahead of us. The reason we chose this spot is there is a faucet that the LA Department of Water Planning turns on for hikers to use. We saw in Guthook that it had been turned on March 1 and a verification that it was still on March 16, just 5 days ago. The next known water source is in another 7 miles. Bunny and I aren’t up to a 24 mile day yet. 

We got to the spot just a few minutes before 5 to find Wolf talking with another hiker that had flipped up from Paradise Cafe, like us, except he went all the way up to (Why was the chicken sitting on a pod?) Tehachapi and is hiking sobo. Wolf told us the faucet is off. I’m not from Missouri, but I’ve lived there long enough that I still had to try it myself. He wasn’t lying. Why in the hell would LADWP turn off the water now? Are they trying to suppress my trail voice? It’s going to take more than a quiet faucet to shut me up. If you don’t believe me, ask Good Chip Norris, Bear, or Sassy, all of which we hiked and sang with last year on the AT. 

Tangerine told us there is a water cache with about 15 gallons of water in another mile. He was still going to hike further south tonight before stopping. Bunny and I only have about a liter and a half between us. We were counting on this faucet. Ivy and Wolf both offered us water, but I didn’t want to take theirs. I still wanted hot tea tonight and hot coffee in the morning which means I’ve got to find 2 liters of water. 

I went back to see if I could find the shutoff somewhere. I couldn’t. I decided to walk around a bit and see if I could find some other water. I did. It had rained last night and there were lots of puddles. Unfortunately, they were all muddy. However, on the bridge, I found a clear puddle. If I calmly dipped about 1/2 ounce at a time, I could fill my jet boil pot to get us water which I did.

I, the hunter, returned victorious to my nesting wife. I thumped my chest and said “totongo.” As any woman would be, she was proud and swooned at my ingenuity. Then she killed the moment by saying “fix the mashed potatoes and spam for supper.” After all the mashed potatoes we ate last year on the AT, I swore I’d never eat 5hem again. I even offered to have a tuna wrap instead. No, it’s mashed potatoes and 🎶 spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam, glorious spam 🎶. It’s going to take more than a shut off faucet to shut me up. 

EFG

• Won’t you take me to—HIKER TOWN
• Won’t you take me to—hiker town
• electric violins

I started singing the “Hiker Town” version of “Funky Town” a couple of days ago. I felt immense satisfaction when we walked into camp last night and heard Ivy singing it. My goal is to get Army Colonel Wolf singing on the trail. I feel his assimilation is inevitable. When I start singing in camp, he excuses himself to his tent, much like Good Chip Norris did last year on the AT and we all know how that ended with GCN becoming the fifth Temptation. Ivy complimented my singing voice saying it was ideal for showering and driving but the world wasn’t quite deserving of my voice, yet. She’s a good kid. 

It was a cold and stormy night. The wind was howling. The rain was falling. Bunny was trembling (even with 50mg of Benadryl—note to self, up Bunny’s storm dosage). Easy was sleeping like a log. I love stormy weather, especially at night. My dad was almost as scared of storms as Bunny is. Whenever it stormed at night, he would wander from room to room checking on us kids to make sure we were alright. My brother, sister, and I all knew dad was watching over us so we learned to love storms. When my dad found this out, he freaked out because that wasn’t his goal. Too late. We don’t have the fear like a Bunny quivering in the corner of a tent ducking from approaching thunderbirds. 

Wolf and Ivy decided they wanted to outrun the storm so they got up at 7. They packed up in the rain. When they said goodbye to us, Bunny and I were drinking coffee in our tent thinking we should start getting ready. By the time we got all packed up and ready to emerge from the tent, we had blue sky overhead. Not only does the early bird get the worm, it gets rained on, too. Who the hell likes wet worms for breakfast? 

It was an easy 9 mile walk, mostly downhill to 🎶 hiker town 🎶. Knowing that I have porcelain availability within 6 hours, I can usually wait. My elderly wife does not have the same, superior, bowel control that I have. Stop #1 (or should that be #2) on the trail. Per chance, if she would stop telling me I have a pea sized bladder which is why I get up a couple of times per night, I might stop mentioning her lack of bowel control. 

Some people (Bunny), say I spend too much time discussing bodily functions in the blog. I should focus more on bunny rabbits, unicorns, and rainbows. Paint a happy picture of trail life. Truth of the matter is, trail life is just a repetition of four things: walking, eating, sleeping, and pooping. All four of which are about equal in importance. Although, I put eating and pooping in the tier one strata of trail life. A good meal and solid feces surpass about all else in nature (and until I have that solid one on the trail, I’m not going to let it go—deal with it Bunny. We’re married. You got suckered. No takebacks.) 

We arrived at 🎶 Hiker Town 🎶 just as Wolf and Ivy were getting ready to head into “town” for some lunch and to resupply. They had already showered and we’re doing laundry which explained why we didn’t recognize the duds they were wearing. Bob was going to drive them in, but he just loaned us the BMW so the four of us could go as we please. Since it’s a stick shift and I have my drivers license with me, I got to drive. We just dropped our packs in our room and will deal with getting clean later. 

There is not much choice in the middle of a desert for resupply or eating. Since we had a set of wheels, we decided to splurge and hit the high class place 8 miles away for lunch and save the townie spot only 4 miles away for supper. I’m not sure if it’s lack of competition or California’s higher cost of living or hiker price gouging, but Bunny and I spent $90 for about $25 worth of junk to get us through the next 50 miles of desert and to a bigger city for a zero day.

Bunny has a terrible memory at times and she cannot remember the name of the town we’re headed to. I created a riddle for her which seems to be working. Why did the chicken sit on the pod? To hatch a pea (Tehachapi). Only now, she recites the riddle, and answer, whenever she tries to name the place. 

EFG

Once Ivy and Wolf left camp slightly before 8 this morning, we didn’t see another hiker until we met them at camp this evening. We didn’t feel rushed since we only had 15 miles planned for the day. That feels great to think that 15 miles isn’t that big of a day for us. We had just finished eating when they left so we had to pack up and take care of other things before we would, ultimately, hit the trail at 8:30. 

Upper Shake Campground appears to have been abandoned by the Angeles National Forest. It’s a shame because it just needs a little TLC to become a nice spot. Just send in a crew to cut down all the dead trees, pick up the trash, clean out the privies, fix up the roads, and install a reliable water source. All this could be done for a few million bucks and then you’d have a great $5/night camping spot. 

There is a privy here that looks like something out of a chainsaw massacre movie, but if you brush aside all the debris and are brave enough to lift the lid…nothing actually jumps out of the pit to grab you. Not even odor. It was actually quite a pleasant experience except for the rust ring left on my ass. I won’t pass up a privy if one avails itself, but I am a bit of a savant when it comes to AAA (anal aiming ability). I attribute my laser accuracy to the fact that I’ve only had 2 prostrate exams and one colonoscopy so my rifling hasn’t been affected by too much traffic. 

Bunny claimed to not need the privy, but I know my wife. If she doesn’t take advantage now, we’ll be stopping half way up the first climb because her “stomach is upset.” It took some sweet talking, but things worked out for the best and my wife was a happy climber once we got going. 

The first climb was pretty steep and was almost 2 miles in duration. When I say steep, I don’t mean AT steep (2100’ in 1/2 mile was the worst climb we had last year). I mean PCT steep which we had about 400’/mile which we would have considered level on the AT. It really wasn’t that bad. Even so, Bunny’s stomach wasn’t the hold up, it was her calves. She has the tightest calves I have ever seen on anyone. It usually takes her a couple miles of walking to get them to loosen up. I got to the top and knew that I had plenty of time to kill, so I got out the nail clippers and gave myself a pedicure. When Bunny caught up, she thought that was a great idea and gave herself one, too.

The next 7 miles of trail were paradise. We found ourselves undulating near the upper portion of a ridge traversing oak forests and pine forests. The oaks in Southern California tend to be all California Live Oak which stay green year round. We did pass through some that had no leaves or green and had a lot of fallen limbs on the ground and broken trunks. We considered these to be victims of the long time drought in the area (of which we are not experiencing). 

The pine forests were like nothing we have experienced before. The pine cones are scary huge. They were bigger than Bunny’s head and weighed a few pounds. If one of these things fell on you in a heavy wind, they could kill a person. 

When we started the next big climb of the day, I was definitely the weak link. At first, I thought I was just getting too old for this, but I looked at Bunny, who is significantly older than me, and she wasn’t having any problems. Then I started to wonder if the manicure had been a bad idea. What if I am like Sampson, only it’s my nails and not my hair that contain my strength. Will it take me a week to get my strength back? Should I never cut my nails so short that I can’t have dirt under them? 

After a little more contemplation I did get to the bottom of the problem. The grade of our second climb was nearing 500’ per mile; not a terrible slope. The day wasn’t particularly hot, it was barely over 60 and partly cloudy. Not at all hot and miserable like yesterday. It’s this damn cold combined with me not getting enough calories. I didn’t get sick even once last year on the AT. In fact, I’ve only hiked once when I was sick and that was on the Camino de Santiago 2 years ago. Even then, with me vomiting and experiencing diarrhea, I still put in 14 miles. I only got sick because Bunny left the meat sitting in the sun for an hour before kicking it in the dirt and letting a dog lick it. To get the dirt off of the meat, I think she wiped the dog’s ass with it. I thought she was being generous when she let me have all the meat. 

I have been swallowing so much snot the last few days that I don’t really have an appetite. I wonder if I can sell my snot as an appetite suppressant and pick up some extra money to extend our time out here. Mistakingly, I believed my sinus drainage was making up the caloric deficit that my reduced appetite has given me. Today, my pack just felt like it was filled with rocks. Bunny kept encouraging me and when we got to the top, I rewarded myself with a pedicure just to bite my thumb at “ my nails are my strength” theory. 

Nearing our camping spot for the night, we did run into someone. It was a PCTA trail Maintenance volunteer out checking on this section of trail to see what work needs to be done. His trail name was Leapfrog. He section hiked the PCT in the early twenty teens and has been doing trail work since 2014. We thanked him for all his work and for the excellent condition of the trail we have hiked so far. Without people like Leapfrog and all the other trail crew volunteers, we couldn’t be out here. 

Leapfrog did tell us that Ivy and Wolf were a little bit ahead at the campsite waiting for us. It was nearing 4 and we figured they had gotten in no later than 2. We were off, they had been there since 1:30. The campsite is on an exposed point and the wind was starting to pick up. Rain is predicted for tomorrow with much colder temperatures. 

We were able to get everything done that we needed to do while it was still light out (including trudging down the side of the mountain about 500’ of elevation over 1/4 mile distance to get water. Ivy and Wolf did join us for hot tea while we ate our supper before we were all forced into our tents from the wind and cold. The reason they did stay here rather than push on further down the mountain is that there is cell signal here. Wolf has found out that no one has made it over San Jacinto yet and are still stuck in Idyllwild. We made the right decision to jump ahead. 

EFG

I was in a deep sleep when Ivy came up and started meowing outside our tent to wake us up. I was so disoriented that I said we’d be ready in 5 minutes. Bunny, ready, 5 minutes, impossible…I said I was disoriented. I slept good when I slept but I didn’t sleep long. All last year on the AT (you should know the rules by now) I never got sick. Not one time. This year, I’ve developed a cold or I have the worst allergies I’ve ever had. I was sneezing and clearing my throat most of the night. Add in getting up to pee three times and I had banner night of disturbing Bunny since everything I do is specifically for that purpose. I do remember a hoot owl outside our tent, that’s two nights in a row. After 6 nights I’ll be riding Wildfire. 

We met inside of Terrie’s house to get ready to have breakfast at the gas station. We assumed Wolf was long gone, but he popped back in as we were getting ready to leave. He was all packed up and had already eaten breakfast. Terrie took him back to the trail while we went to eat. She then dropped by the gas station to save us the walk back. We ended up talking with her and The Bobcat until almost 9. 

The Bobcat got divorced 7 years ago and gave up her corporate job as a geologist in order to do what she loves—hiking. At first, she went to India to learn how to be a yoga instructor from a 102 year old yogi, but when she got back, she found out about the PCT. Instead of making a living as a yoga instructor, she hiked the PCT, then bought a pickup truck which she now lives out of. Her new love is desert hiking, but not the PCT kind with trails. That would be too easy. She likes to pick her own path. She was very interesting to talk to. 

When we were ready to go, Terrie got a picture of us in front of the 2019 sheet which we had all signed. To make sure she gets good expressions on the hikers faces, she moons everyone just as the photo is snapped. We’ll need to find the Casa de Luna Facebook Page to seeBunny’s gaping mouth! Terrie then drove us back to the trailhead and hugged us all goodbye. We felt like little kids going off to school. I’m still amazed by her generosity and genuine concern for all hikers. 

The trail was really desert conditions today. It was hot and dry. We all broke out our umbrellas for a while in the heat of the day when the winds were low. It only reached 75 degrees F, but it was miserably hot in the full sun. Wolf had wanted us all to be on the trail by 7 to beat the heat, but “homey don’t do that” early morning shit. 

Ivy walked with us all day, but we couldn’t keep with her on the big uphills. The first climb, she had good enough cell signal to arrange to get a heavier puffy jacket sent to her. The second big climb in the early afternoon full sun, found Bunny and me about beaten down. If we hadn’t come to a natural spring on the side of the hill, we’d have been done for. At that point, we had less than 1/2 liter of water between us and we were both overheated. We camelled up on water and cooled off. It took us a good 45 minutes to be able to face the sun again. 

In the mean time, Ivy waited at the top of the climb for an hour and a half for us to catch up. She thought we must have taken a wrong turn and started to come back to look for us. She stayed with us the rest of the way worried that the geriatric couple was done for. It was fun explaining all the entertainment she has missed in her life. I named at least 50 movies everyone should know and she hadn’t seen any of them. The internet will be the end of trivial pursuit. 

The final four miles of walking was a bit more of what we were hoping to encounter—alpine pine forests with plenty of shade. We were amazed with some of the largest pine cones we had ever seen under some not very big pine trees. These things are so big they would knock you out if 5hey fell on your head. 

Wolf had already been in camp for a couple hours by the time we arrived. He had set up his tent, found water, eaten, and scouted out the area all before we showed up. I was hurting pretty bad for the last couple of miles. This year, I am blessed with a series of ailments when I’m hiking. When the pain in one area gets too bad, I try to focus on a different one so I can keep going. All day long I was able to shift focus between: my sunburnt legs, my aching left foot, my right heel, my stuffed sinuses, and my chafed legs. Life has blessed me with plenty of distractions to keep me going. 

We set up camp and did all the usual camp chores: fetch water, cook, organize food. To save time because we were so late this evening, Bunny agreed that I could skip her foot massage and pedicure tonight. She was worried about me being able to get enough sleep so I can wake up in time to fix her breakfast in bed. My Bunny watches out for me. Oh, the hoot howl is already hooting for the third night in a row outside our tent. I was very disturbed when Ivy told me it meant I was going to die on the sixth night. If this keeps up, I’ll have to carry a gun on the trail, after all, to kill owls. 

EFG 

My dried out bladder by electromagnetic radiation didn’t quite work as planned, but I know what went wrong. We lay parallel to the power lines which worked in reverse and filled my bladder 3 times. If we had lay perpendicular, then we’d have been in business. At least our electronics were fully charged. 

We had a “Wildfire” moment last night. I heard hooting only I didn’t think it was outside my window. I thought Bunny had added a new sound to her night repertoire. There was an owl in the tree right between our tent and Wolf’s. There was an answering hoot coming from across the valley. She’s coming for me I know. And on Wildfire, we’re both going to go. 

Remember when Michael Jordon was at the All Star Game and fired a shot from half court and the ball exploded mid-air because it was overinflated? Of course the shot was on course for a swish, but bits of the basketball landed all over the rim. If you see where this is headed, start drinking now. If you don’t see where this is headed, start guzzling. It’s been a few days since I’ve practiced my desert shot. Added to the fact that we were camped very close to Wolf and Ivy so I tried to limit my noise output through the night (hence the overinflated reference). I was on target for a 3-pointer but a little more methane than expected was encountered. (If everyone will just drink now, I will stop with the details from here on.)

Wolf was first out of camp with Ivy following less than 10 minutes later. Bunny and I were a full 20 minutes later. Bunny had to brush out her hair, make her toilet, pack her pack…DON’T RUSH ME…brush her hair again to make a point. It didn’t really matter how late we were because we only have 10 miles to go today. It’s an easy 10, too—1500’ up, 2000’ down. Once again, the grade barely gets over 300’ per mile. Last year on the AT (drink) if we had a grade less than 600’ per mile, we considered it level. The PCT is heaven compared to the AT. 

Another complaint PCTers have against the AT is walking in the green tunnel. Bunny and I walked through more trees today than we have up to this point. We both talked about how the vistas out here are impressive, but we miss the trees. We grew up in the Midwest where forests abound in Southern Illinois and South Central Missouri. Our early hiking experiences were in lowland, hardwood  forests. We get energized walking in the trees. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that it’s an oxygen rich environment or if I’m just a huge fan of Tree Bard. Last year on the AT (drink), I found myself talking to the tres and thanking them for their protection. 

We are enjoying the desert hiking. Especially since we jumped forward nearly 300 miles and are now in temperatures that are pleasant during the day and comfortable enough for us to sit outside for a while in the evening. I’m not at all implying that I’m not liking the views and wide open spaces. In fact, I like both. But when I picture where we will end up after this hiking phase of our lives (if it has to end and Bunny gets her way with having a permanent home base—I’m not sold on the idea), I picture a cabin in the woods on the side of a mountain with maybe one open view of the mountains. I just feel more secure in the forest.

Water was plentiful today even though it’s not indicated in Guthook. We probably averaged a flowing stream every 1-2 miles. It won’t be like this for long. I still am glad that we chose to hike this time of year to get to see the desert blooming and the water flowing. Sure, the flopping like a fish out of water is a bit of a pain in the ass, but it’s manageable. 

We made it to the road into Green Valley before 2 (which was our target time). Until last year on the AT, I had never hitch-hiked in my entire life. Now it’s second nature. I immediately put Bunny on the side of the road and have her get us a ride. She complained about how long it took to get a ride, but compared to times I’ve heard, 10 minutes is not bad at all. I know what it takes to pimp my ho out for a ride. 

Our ride was in the back of a pickup truck with a dog willing to share the bed with us as long as we agreed to pet it all the way into town. Challenge accepted. I had to pet the dog, hold the packs, and calm Bunny all at the same time because there wasn’t a tail gate. 

We got dropped off at the convenience store/gas station just a few blocks from Casa de Luna. We drank a soda before we walked on over. When we walked up to the house and announced ourselves, we said a couple of our friends should already be here and asked if we could possibly stay. The woman looked at me and said there was no one here and that she hadn’t had any requests by hikers to spend the night. Bunny and I were confused and looked at each other perplexed. Terrie started laughing and said we were easy to mess with. Ivy was in the shower and Wolf was outback setting up his tent. They arrived about 20 minutes ago. 

Casa de Luna is not fancy. In fact, it’s a little run down, but it’s ran by people that love PCT hikers and bend over backwards to help in whatever way they can. Terrie even cooked us a St Patrick’s Day supper tonight of corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots. This afternoon, we were heading back up to the convenience store to pick up a few items and she gave us all Hawaiian shirts to wear so everyone in town would know we were hikers and the season has started. We’re her first thru-hikers this year. 

As we were standing on the road watching BMW’s, Mercedes, and the like pass us by and then get picked up by an old pickup truck, I started forming an opinion. As we walked through town and arrived as Casa de Luna it started becoming clearer. It solidified as I was writing this up tonight. The people who are the most generous to strangers tend to be those people who have the least to spare. Perhaps they have more empathy because they can relate to being in a position of want when there seems to be plenty around but no one willing to share. I’m not saying we haven’t run across plenty of generous affluent people in our travels, just that those least blessed seem to come to a stranger’s aid sooner. Whatever the case, my faith in humanity is growing again and I hope that I am as generous to strangers in need as I have received that same generosity. 

EFG

I wasn’t the only braying ass around here last night. Hiker Heaven has donkeys, horses, dogs, cats, and roosters all of which like to be heard. Surprisingly, the donkey had to wake up the roosters to get them going, but once they did, everyone was up. We discovered for certain that Ivy is a cat woman. She was fawning all over Spoon, One Piece’s cat, as soon as the roosters woke us up. It was an animal extravaganza. 

Wolf cooked breakfast for himself and was the first to leave. He’s an early riser even without animal assistance. Ivy, Bunny, and I opted for the restaurant on the corner on the trail. There will come a time in Northern California where we won’t have the option of restaurants and I have no intention of kicking myself then for skipping a restaurant now. It’s also a great way to meet locals. Several older men started talking to us about their past dreams of hiking the trail, but their 15 years of procrastinating and eating breakfast at this diner has rewarded them with protruding bellies, high cholesterol, and no will to walk. I’m expecting a good meal here and am not disappointed. 

We started off with a couple miles of road walking before getting back on trails. Then we had 5 miles to gain a couple thousand feet to look back at Agua Dulce and Vasquez Rocks. In total, we walked a little over 7 hours today. I only mention this because as soon as we got on the trail, an old man ran by us. He would ultimately run by us a total of three times today . We walked 7 hours while he ran 6 hours covering more than twice the distance we did. 

The landscape today was not as exciting as yesterday. Yes, we had amazing views. Yes, we could see the trail below and behind us giving us a sense of accomplishment as we climbed. But we get that every day. It’s old hat. Come on California, give us something new for a change. 

The camping spot we had agreed to meet at is known to be dry (since it sits near the top of a ridge under some power line). The electromagnetic radiation from the power lines is so intense, all water is boiled off underneath them. This is my best chance for sleeping through the night without having to get up to pee with my urine boiling away in my sleep. We’re also hoping to fully charge all of our electronics without having to plug anything in. 

There was a water cache at the bottom of the climb which we used to fill up our bladders (both drinking and urine reservoirs) so we will have enough to cook supper and breakfast. 50 yards after passing the cache, we came to a flowing stream. Too late now. We wished we hadn’t taken from the cache with the stream flowing. In the not too distant future, the stream will dry up.

Wolf and Ivy made it to camp a good hour ahead of us. They were doing something we didn’t think we’d ever see anyone do on this trail when we arrived at camp. They were sitting outside their tents enjoying the evening. For the first time on this trip, it was warm enough at the end of the day that we didn’t have to crawl into our tents and sleeping bags to keep from freezing. All day long, in fact, has been pretty pleasant. In fact, I even broke out my chrome dome the final mile into camp to shield myself from the sun. 

We set up our tent and joined them for supper. The four of us sat together, talking, and eating. The only exception was as each one of us took our turn, as in a wave, to get up and relieve bodily functions. 

I’m in a mellow mood tonight, so I’ll make a few minor revisions in the rules of our drinking game. If you are over 60, you do not have to double the amounts consumed. I’ve heard too many of you old farts complaining about that one, so I’ll set it aside. You whine, I listen. You bring wine, I drink. We will institute one new rule, however. If you have ever been bitten by a poisonous snake and the snake died, triple the amounts. Rest your livers and get ready. 

EFG

I hate to pay for a hotel and then check out early. I was ecstatic to hear Patches say he needed to go to the post office in the morning but it didn’t open until 10…would that be a problem? I barely know him, but I wanted to kiss him because I know Wolf is an early riser as well as “10 before 10” Patches. I don’t have to be the weak link just yet (but we all know it’s coming).

How did hikers ever hike in the old days before cell phones, Guthook, and Uber? We have a hard enough time dealing with logistics in the modern era. It was a royal pain in the ass working out our hotel stay yesterday driving down the interstate using hotels.com to book 4 separate rooms at a hotel in a city we had never even heard of 10 minutes prior to the call. Do kids today even have an idea what the yellow pages and a pay phone are? 

We ordered a couple of Ubers to get us to the KOA in Acton. When our driver finally got us there, he said he had to get out and look around. He only lived 10 miles from here but had no idea such a place even existed. It was the nicest KOA we’ve ever been to. We will definitely stay here when we finish up the section we skipped between Paradise Cafe and Acton. 

Patches was MIA. We saw him and Wolf get into the Prius at the same time, yet only Wolf is around when we arrive. I’ve always chose to not carry a gun when backpacking, preferring to hook up with trained killers on the trail in lieu of said guns. Wolf is such a man. Full bird colonel army ranger. I never push him too far. I have a history of wearing on military people such as my old roommate whom I demoted from Lt Colonel to Lt in just a single phone call to his office. Who new just forgetting the Colonel was a 4 step demotion? 

We though Patches and Wolf were fine with each other. If any other hikers come up missing, I’ll sound the alarm. For now, I’ll accept Wolf’s explanation that Patches wanted to jump 10 miles up the trail because he had already made plans to get off the trail in time to spend time with his wife on her spring break from teaching. I knew Patches was a short timer when he said he couldn’t possibly hike in July when he normally gets a bad case of the crabs (or was that he like to get his daily quota of crabs when the season opens?). 

Wolf did take off before us while Ivy, Bunny, and I all felt obliged to purchase drinks from the KOA general store. This is a very well stocked market compared to the convenience store we frequented last night situated between the auto repair shops. After we finished our drinks, we began the warmest day of hiking we have experienced this month. It was so warm, I decided to soak my feet and boots in the stream running behind the campground. I let Bunny and Ivy believe that I accidentally slipped off a log and fell in up to my knees when everyone knows I’m as sure footed as a mountain goat. 

It didn’t take Ivy long to speed off ahead of us while Bunny began her 5 minute serial stop routine. In her defense, Bunny has the tightest calves I have ever seen, and starting off with a thousand foot climb even at a grade of less than 300’ per mile is not the best way to warm them up. The slow uphill momentum of Bunny gave me lots of time to admire the views, notice all the wild flowers in bloom, and to finally catch a painted lady sitting still. We have been experiencing an unauthorized entry from Mexico in the form of thousands of butterflies illegally entering our air space and eating up the resources our own native butterflies don’t even wish to eat. This atrocious invasion must be stopped. When the funding for the wall is appropriated, I sure hope they include enough to extend netting up 3 miles to stem the flow of this illegal border crossing. 

Speaking of aliens, we also ran into a young German couple that have been in the US for about 3 weeks. I couldn’t tell exactly what their accent was (the last German I met on the trail I identified as Australian—I have a keen ear for detecting accents, just not the ability to properly identify them). We talked with them for a bit. They had originally planned to hike in the Sierras but decided against that. I played my usual 20 questions with them to discover they were from eastern Germany between Berlin and Dresden. 

We may have only had 10 miles to cover today, but we did so in slow fashion (at least the uphill portion). At one point after we had lunch, we managed to clock a section at almost 3 mph. No vehicles involved. Our own legs. Of course, it was ideal weather conditions with a steady downhill grade. We might even have been able to extend that pace into a second hour if we hadn’t encountered a Bunny nemesis in the form of a tunnel under the interstate. 

To say Bunny is claustrophobic is like saying I am normal. It’s a gross misnomer at best. I can’t even play Dutch Oven with Bunny, and not because I make myself gag, but because nothing can block her face…ever. But this irrational fear of hers IS rational. Just ask her. She refused to go into the tunnel because she couldn’t see the other end. I calmly moved her so she could see straight into the tunnel. This helped a bit knowing that we weren’t entering a dog-leg tunnel. 

Emerging into the light of a new world is not an exaggeration in this case. We came out in a canyon in Vasquez Rocks. I was completely mesmerized. The closest to this I’ve ever seen is heading across the Grand Canyon to the North Rim. There was a sweet little stream running through the canyon (Agua Dulce translates as Sweet Water). I almost felt like I was in an episode of Big Bang Theory when the guys do a Star Trek photo shoot in the rocks and get their car stolen. 

We met a couple of women who introduced themselves as Sugar Momma and One Piece. One Piece is finishing up her PCT thru-hike as a sobo and Sugar Momma is working at Hiker Heaven where we planned to stay tonight. They offered us a ride, but I declined not wanting to skip the mile and a half of road walk that we had ahead of us before the turn to Hiker Heaven. 

I am an idiot. Road walking sucks. It kills my feet. By the time we made it to the turn I regretted turning the ride down. Once we made the turn, we were no longer on the PCT so I could accept a ride. Out go the thumbs and immediately we got a couple of “psyche” offers. The kind where an Audi acts like their going to pick you up and then when they see the smile in the rear view mirror speed off instead. We gave up and then a nice woman, Trish, pulled over and offered us a ride. We got to the gate of Hiker Heaven just as Ivy did. That’s two days in a row she hiked the entire way and we got a ride to finish the same time she did. I think she needs to start using her wares a bit better. I know how to make use of my Bunny for rides. 

Wolf was already here as was One Piece and Sugar Momma. Sugar Momma loaned her vehicle to us so we could all run back to the main strip for supper at the Mexican Restaurant. After supper it was already dark so I had to hurry and get Bunny to bed before she fell asleep in the parking lot of the truck turned into a pumpkin, whichever comes first.

EFG

Patches philosophy is “10 before 10.” Ours is “sooner or later 10, whenever we can hobble that much.” I heard him scrambling around packing up in the dark—sick bastard. I took the opportunity to get up, pee, make coffee, and go back to sleep rolling my sippy cup all over myself. Cheap thrills abound on the PCT. 

When I heard Ivy’s alarm go off at 7, I made Bunny wake up so we could eat our breakfast and pack up. We were actually able to get all packed up and hit the trail by a few minutes past 8. I saved time by not practicing my 3 point shot since we were heading to Paradise Cafe which has indoor plumbing. We just barely beat Ivy and Wolf out of camp.

We only had a little over 6 miles to go today since we have hiked over 36 miles the last two days. We need to average 12.5 miles/day to make our itinerary work, but we’ve got some extra zeros to make up (8 already) plus we’d like to shave a couple weeks off the end to get done by mid-September. Six is about all we can handle today, but we managed to eek out a bit more than that…306 to be exact, but I’m getting ahead of myself. All I can say for now is that we will not have a more productive day than this for quite a while. 

Most of today was uphill, so it didn’t take Ivy and Dave long to overcome us and become dots. Bunny takes a good two miles to get warmed up in the morning. Walk 5 minutes, stop, my stomach hurts, I need roll-aids. Walk 5 minutes, stop, my lips are chapped,, I need lip balm. Walk 5 minutes, stop, I’m cold, give me my stocking cap and gloves. Walk 5 minutes, I’m hot, put my stocking cap away and give me my floppy hat. Walk 5 minutes, stop, the sun is in my eyes, get my sunglasses. Walk 5 minutes, stop, my stomach hurts and the roll-aids aren’t working, I need to pretend I’m in a Walmart parking lot and poop…This keeps going for the first hour of every day. I’m a patient man and I love my wife…must…keep…mouth…shut!

We made it to the road by 11. Our goal was to have a burger hoisted in front of our faces by noon, so we were right on schedule to hitch a ride and place our order. As we approached the road, we saw a guy in Native American garb walking up the trail from the cafe. This was Jason, the Viking, out posting herbal resources placards for hikers (420 legal in CA). He ran us down and said he was our trail angel here to whisk us to the cafe. We are his first hikers of the year. He also told us he was nearing 60 but “those above” have shared the secret to longevity with him. It’s the 49th element on the periodic table, Indium. We told him about Dave Asprey from bullet proof podcasts who has proclaimed he’s going to live to 180. Jason told us that’s a tough one, but he could guarantee 120. We agreed to disagree. 

Jason did transport us to Paradise—not herbally. When we got there, we set our packs down by everyone else’s and tried the door. It was locked. This is how they ditch us. It was too good to be true that people would hike with us already. They paid the diner to shut us out within sight of the counter. I know how Moses felt after wandering the desert for 40 years and it’s only been 21 days for us. Oh the humanity. 

One of the waitresses came to the door and told us they were closed unless we were thru-hikers. When she saw our packs, she told us to come on in because one of our friends has been here for hours and they can’t get him to leave. Patches no doubt. She walked us to a back corner where Patches, Ivy, and Wolf were all sitting. She told us they were having plumbing problems and couldn’t open to the public until the water was fixed but we could order anything we wanted as long as we didn’t use the bathroom. I had missed my practice round today in anticipation of porcelain but it’s worth a little backup now for a cheeseburger and fries. This, too, shall pass, just at a later time. 

Patches had been doing some investigative work trying to find us a ride up to Agua Dulce—about 300 trail miles ahead. I tried contacting Kevin in Pasadena hoping to convince him to join us and maybe get a ride with him, but he can’t return to the trail until Monday. I then called the outfitter in Idyllwild trying to get in contact with Spoon who stopped by and checked on us when we spent the day at Pioneer Mail Picnic Area. He wasn’t working at the store yet. She told us there was a road walk around San Jacinto putting me in a position of having to make a lousy choice. I felt like Sophie making the choice of which child should live. The road was dead to me. 

We hoped for Patches lead to come through. The waitress asked us if we wanted her to call Gus. We said yes. About 15 minutes later an old guy came into the restaurant and she introduced him to us. He seemed nice enough and was willing to take us if he could figure out where it actually was. We worked out all the details, finished eating, loaded the truck, and off we went. Gus asked us how old we thought he was. First guess 70, he indicated higher. We said 75. He said higher. We guessed again at 81. He indicated much higher. We let it go at that hoping that he still had ample reasons to live on.

Gus was in the Marine Corps. When he got out, his dad was working for DuPont here in Southern California and offered to let him live at home if he went to college and then would get him a job at DuPont. That’s how Gus ended up here in the early 50s. Instead of working for DuPont, he ended up becoming the sheriff of LA county from 1954 up until sometime in the 80s. When I heard this, I asked him about the Manson family. He showed me a picture of him with Manson in chains taking him to court for the trial. Like the vast majority of people, he was not a fan of Charlie. I had trouble recognizing him without a swastika on his forehead. 

What was supposed to be a two and a half hour drive turned into a 5 hour ordeal. The traffic southeast of LA was miserable. We couldn’t figure out what the problem was until we had been in the traffic for a couple of hours and saw the poppy blooms on the mountains along the highway. People were actually just pulling to the side of the highway, parking their cars, climbing the fence, and walking up the mountains. Gus said he had never seen anything like it in the 60+ years he’d lived out here. The poppies were incredible. 

We finally made it to our hotel a little after 5. We said our goodbyes to Gus and gave him a heads up that we would probably need him to pick us up in a Palm Springs in a week or two when we come back to make up the section we jumped. We then spent the rest of the evening doing normal town chores like doing laundry in hotel sinks, buying junk food at a gas station rather then walking a couple miles to a grocery store, and overeating pizza from the closest place to get hot food. We’re only here for a one night stand in Santa Clarita. Tomorrow, we hike in desert without snow. 

EFG

Another installment from Bunny on our PCT journey:

We did finally manage to get fragments of information from Strange. Warren, Diane, and Peter were all here the night before last and all three decided to get off trail for a while to let the snow melt. It didn’t snow here last night, but as crappy as it was, it’s easy to imagine San a Jacinto and Fuller Ridge did pick up more snow. Another father and son hiking southbound got in later than us last night. They chose to camp outside rather than endure the inside (which was not bad at all once the lights went out). 

Ivy was first up this morning. She tried to find the coffee but eventually gave up the search when I offered her some instant—it’s better than nothing and really great when laying in a tent on a cold drizzly morning. Not so great if you wake up comfortably warm in a dumpy house. Strange got up and joined us at the morning breakfast table to share poop stories on the trail. Normally, I’d be right on track with this line, but when I’m eating dry peanut butter on a bagel, it’s a little too close to home. 

Get this, Bunny and I were the first to leave. Do I need to repeat this? Bunny and I were the first to leave! There are two options to get back to the trail: the purist route retracing our steps from yesterday evening, or, a road walk of the exact same distance. It was still very windy and foggy and walking the trail would expose one more harshly to the elements. The road walk would shelter us a bit. I asked everyone which route they were going. EVERYONE said road. I asked if anyone would think less of me if I walked the route most traveled and everyone, very supportively said they could not possibly think any less of me than they already do. What a great start of a trail family! We took the road most travelled and found magic in the form of oranges supplied by a local Boy Scout Troop.

As expected, I obsessed on skipping the trail section. It’s the whole slippery slope argument that the NRA uses, and the anti-abortion groups use, and trail purists use. Bunny and I were hiking along in and out of the fog, physically and metaphorically, for about 15 minutes before Wolf and Ivy caught up to us. Ivy started talking about skipping ahead a few hundred miles to get around the snow and keep hiking because Wolf had gotten a text from Peter that there was snow up to 2’ deep on the trail right after Paradise Cafe. I could feel the landslide under my feet beginning. What the hell, I’ve heard there’s a road that runs all the way to the Canadian border. We can be done by the weekend if we put our minds to it. 

The four of us walked on and discussed our options for the next 13 miles. They walked slow so the old folks could keep up. It was actually a pleasant stroll slightly downhill or level most of the way. We caught glimpses of snow covered peaks to our right that looked a bit more than we wanted to tackle, and they weren’t even as high as San Jacinto. At about 10 miles in, we caught a peek at San Jacinto and my heart sank. It was a solid white mass without any breaks in the snow. Peter Gabriel has let me down for the very first time in my life. There’s no getting over San Jacinto any time soon.

After our second break we started climbing. This is when Ivy came alive. She shot off into the horizon and we quickly lost sight of her and Wolf. It was apparent we couldn’t hike with them for extended periods of time. As soon as we lost sight of them, we ran out of water for the second time in two days. Once again, it was just a half mile after we passed the last water source. We hiked the final 4.6 miles without water. 

I was run down and slightly dehydrated. We could only keep plodding along because it never felt comfortable to even stop and sit. I was so tired that I didn’t have enough energy to turn around and check on Bunny. I had to reinstitute my sonar system to track Bunny. It’s been a few months since we have used the system and I hoped it still worked. We’d have to try it out without proper field testing. I turned it on and it worked first try! It is a simple system, when I want to check if Bunny is behind me, I fart loudly. She immediately responds “I’m right behind you!” Success!

We got to Mary’s Place which is just a 500 gallon water tank with a couple of picnic tables and a mini library. Patches, Ivy, and Wolf were already set up. We talked for a bit before we set up camp and cooked supper. We kept hoping Cheesy Turtle would show up, but he never did. I did leave him a note in the sand at a stream crossing before we made it to Mary’s Place. Of course, we all talked about skipping ahead to Agua Dulce tomorrow once we make it to Paradise Cafe. Patches really liked the idea because he’s not ready to go home yet and he’s not able to walk in the snow since he’s had a double hip replacement. Yes, we’re hiking with a guy 7 years older than us with prosthetic hips and we can’t keep up. A car ride sounds kind of good right now. 

EFG

Finally, it rained. We had taken a double zero because of an expected storm that we didn’t want to be caught out in. The storm hit Warner Springs in the form of a light rain that lasted about 5 hours altogether. It did more damage than that at higher elevations. Reportedly another 2’ of snow has been dumped on the summit of San Jacinto. The next 7 days look promising for hiking and we can hope it gets warm enough to melt SJ enough by the time we get there that we’ll be able to pass.

It is very nice to have a picnic table near our tent for packing up. Last night, long after we went to bed, I’m thinking 7:30ish, a couple of thru-hikers from last year swung by the community center to distribute some magic in the form of cuties, grapes, and chocolate covered almonds and they chose “our” table to leave them on. I got out of bed the second I heard the hiker battle cry “free food” to try to secure our share. The couple was very encouraging to us early season suckers (I mean thru-hikers) and told us they hadn’t meant to drive all the way down here today but just did. They were from LA and heading back there. Here’s a great example of the trail always provides. 

Kevin, No Trail Name Yet, wanted to head to LA for a few days to get better cold weather equipment. His grandparents live near Pasadena. He had been trying to find a ride all day yesterday, but, no luck. I introduced this year’s Kevin to last year’s thru-hikers and now he has a ride to his grandparents today. Alas, we seem to have lost our young whipping boy, but he has young legs and will quickly catch us. 

Wolf, Ivy, and Cheesy Turtle left about 10-15 minutes before we were all packed up, but we had agreed to try to catch up with them at Mike’s Place. No one is certain what is actually there, but rumor is that there is covered camping and the possibility of pizza. They had me at pizza. We should be about ready to put in an 18 mile day. 

We crossed the Warner Springs Meadows and were amazed by the beauty of the mountains around us. We had purposely stayed in town because of the lower elevation it afforded us. We were around 3000’. The mountains around us are 5-6000’ and they all had fresh snow on them from last night. We could only hope that it melts by the time we get to Mike’s Place at about 5100’ elevation. It was starting out nice enough—sunny and 50s which makes for perfect hiking weather. 

Another reason we stayed at Warner Springs Community Center, the primary one in my world, was 24 hour access to flushing toilets. I haven’t had any shot practice for the last few days, but I can live with that. Bunny, on the other hand, claimed that I rushed her getting ready this morning and didn’t allow her enough time to use said porcelain. Instead, we headed for, and defiled, the closest living California Live Oak we could find. 

The first 3.5 miles of trail was level walking through California Live Oak groves and meadows. California Live Oaks are huge old trees that never loose their leaves. The acorns look like torpedos. If I were younger and not afraid of falling, I’d be climbing these trees like mad. They are a little boys dream climbing tree. 

The rest of the day felt like we were constantly climbing. The grade of climb was never over 300’ per mile, but 8 miles of climbing will get to you. We did catch up with Cheesy Turtle when he stopped for lunch. We continued on and crossed a fairly wide, fast creek. The day was clouding up and started raining fairly hard. We stopped under a huge oak tree to get out of the rain and put on our rain covers. I thought I had asked Bunny to save the trash bag she had been using as a pack cover since she had gotten a new one and I don’t have a replacement yet. She heard “cut it up and throw it away” which she did. We just waited and snacked hoping for a quick end to the rain since it was only a 20% chance today. 

Cheesy caught up with us while we were eating. We talked for a few minutes until the sun came back out. Since we were climbing, we took off our jackets and continued on. The three of us walked together for the next 7 miles crossing the same creek another 5 times. About a half mile after the last crossing, Bunny and I both ran out of water. It was another 3 miles until the next water. We had no choice but push on. Cheesy offered us water right away, but I didn’t want to burden him because of our stupidity. 

The water was a good quarter mile off of the trail. I went down and brought back 5 liters for us to filter. Bunny had pushed herself too far without breaking. After we drank a couple liters, we filled up our bladders and gave the extra we had to Cheesy. He took off while we were packing up thinking we’d catch up in a few minutes. We didn’t see him again until we got to Mike’s Place because Bunny wasn’t feeling up to speed for a couple of miles. 

The clouds rolled back in and the day got cold again. The winds picked up and we got cold. This was supposed to be a nice day, but it was going downhill fast. We finally got to the turn to Mike’s and mist was blowing in the wind. Mike’s Place was not the Shangri La we were hoping for. We walked past a dumpy place surrounded by a chain link fence with razor wire on top. They must be very proud and possessive of all the garbage they have accumulated over the years. 

We recognized Ivy’s, Wolf’s, and Cheesy’s tent’s set up outside a slightly rundown house, but saw no signs of anyone. We walked around the house looking for a way in. We dropped our packs on a covered porch and found the front door. We saw a bunch of people in the living room who waved us in. We walked in to find the three people we were looking for plus a couple we hadn’t seen since Pioneer Mail Picnic Site when we stayed in the tent for 40 hours. It was Alley and Daniel. I tried talking to them, but there was another guy who kept talking constantly. It turned out this was the caretaker. We finally were able to get his attention long enough for him to stand up and welcome us. The most striking feature of this guy was his 4’ tail. 

Yes, tail. Strange, a shortened version of his name, but very apropos. It was crappy weather outside and kind of dumpy inside, but Strange was friendly enough. He offered to let us sleep inside to get out of the weather. Snow was expected up here. There was a fire keeping the place warm, no wind, and working plumbing. Maybe it is Shangri La, just a lower grade hiker version. 

Mike uses this house as a personal getaway and he doesn’t come out that often. Once a week at most. He decided to open it up to hikers to come in to get some water and have a camping spot, or a spot out of the weather if needed. He likes to have someone stay here to make sure things don’t get too out of hand. There are daily safety meetings by most guests, if you understand my meaning. If not, don’t worry about it. This is California and it’s legal.

Throughout the course of the evening, we had a very lively conversation about…everything that flitted through Strange’s mind. The beauty of talking with him is that he couldn’t remember who he was talking to because he has some memory issues, often stopping mid-sentence and forgetting what he was talking about. If you wanted to extract yourself from a conversation, you merely had to walk in front of another person, thus transferring the stream of conversation. I had a great time talking with him and Ivy because the philosophy he has adopted resembles Issac Asimov’s Foundation novels which I happen to have decent recollections of. Yes, nerd. 

EFG