The plan was simple. There’s a really nice outhouse in the parking lot down the road. There’s a 0.3 mile side trail running to that parking lot just ahead right where we have to cross the Pleasant River. We were all wanting to visit the outhouse and cross the river together. GCN took off first, got to the trail junction, decided that he wasn’t FOS, and crossed the river. Bunny and I caught up with GCN when he was half way across. Bunny, who has zero bowel control in the mornings decides she can wait. Well at least I’ll be able to count on Sassy. She’s a double barrel morning person. I dropped my pack and proceeded with the plan.
Let me tell you, these were the Mercedes Benz of outhouses. They had toilet paper, smelled of fresh cut cedar, were super clean, screened in eaves so no bugs could get in, and were double seaters. What’s not to love? I took my time expecting Bear and Sassy to be along shortly. I lingered. I enjoyed my quiet time. I lingered some more wishing I had brought something to read. I developed ring butt. I got tired of waiting and submitted my required paperwork before heading back to the trail. When I got there, everyone, even my own wife who said she’d wait, was across the river drying their feet and putting on their boots. This is the exact scenario all of my nightmares start with. I fall way behind, no one waits, 3 days later Bunny realizes I’m gone.
By the time I made my way across the river, everyone was ready to go. “We’ll walk slow. You’ll catch up fast.” Code for “your history. We’ll never see you again.” Bunny said she guessed she could wait for me, if she had to. I was peeved and hurt. No one saw what were, arguably, the nicest privies in the state of Maine, and quite possibly all of the New England section of trail. I had no witnesses to verify my story and I had left my camera in my pack. What the hell, go ahead. She did!
At least I knew I had food and shelter. I could survive for up to two days on my own or just one more day with Bunny. We were down to our last day of food. In my best Gloria Gaynor voice I started singing “I will survive, hey, hey” and ran trying to catch up with everyone. I did catch up with Bunny before the side trail to the Gulf Hagas Rim Trail. I was ticked, so I just passed her and kept climbing. I’d read that Gulf Hagas was the Grand Canyon of Maine. Poet had told us to at least walk in 1/4 mile and see some of the falls. I dropped my pack by the junction and went in without saying anything to Bunny. I figured she’d drop her pack and follow. Wrong!
I did walk in about 1/2 mile to catch sight of a couple sets of water falls. They were spectacular. They were large enough to kill you if you fell into them. I was all alone. No one cares. I’m Easily Forgotten, and my wife has been introducing me as Best Forgotten. I started contemplating death. Between my vision loss in the Whites, my knees giving me trouble coming out of NH, my slow hiking, and my somewhat overactive gastrointestinal system, I’m beginning to think that I might not actually be immortal like my mind has lead me to believe. Now I can’t even trust my mind. (Honestly, this wasn’t much of a revelation, I’ve often thought it was out to get me for some time.)
I turned back to rejoin the main trail expecting to run into Bunny. I made it all the way back to my pack and never ran into her. Surely, she saw my pack and would wait. I checked my pack and discovered half of the days snacks had been removed from my brain. (That’s the top section of my pack and not my head. Bunny can be a bit vindictive if I’ve pissed her off, but she’s no zombie.) I guess I ticked her off more than she did me. I did manage to catch up with Bunny again and decided to just walk slow and keep my mouth shut. One task was easy, the other was near impossible.
The day had started out not bad but grew a bit cloudy while I was in Gulf Hagas. Coincidentally, this was the second great thing that only I saw today. We did manage to catch up with everyone around Gulf Hagas Mountain. No one seemed aware of my “left behind” ordeals. I was determined to not get left again. I tried to get out front just to be safe.
There were another few mountains to cross. By the time we stopped to eat and cross West Peak and Hay Mountain, the day had started to deteriorate. By the time we were nearing the summit of White Cap Mountain, we were in a pretty strong gale and rain. We were supposed to be able to catch a glimpse of Katahdin from this string of peaks, but there was little visibility beyond the trees swaying in the cold, windy rain. We all ran across the open area on top and tried to get in a protected set of trees to wait for Chip to call about our food drop for tomorrow. We just had to confirm our meeting time which we needed to adjust back a couple of hours because of our short day on my birthday (not from the celebration where I DID share my M&Ms; everyone got an orange one, I felt it was the least I could do which is what I usually choose to do; but from the rain and cold making us stop early). Bear also needed batteries for his headlamp which Poet agreed to bring along.
I won’t go as far as saying we were hypothermic, but we were wet and cold. Conditions were ripe for hypothermia if we didn’t dry off and get warm. The shelter already had 3 people in it and there were 5 of us. The lean-to is said to be a 6 person one, but the guys agreed that we could all squeeze in. Even GCN stayed in the shelter rather than deal with the wind. It took a while to get dried off, filter water, and eat before wedging into the shelter, but we all managed. The entire time, we could see our breaths. I know it was from the cold as we all have pretty good oral hygiene.
A late comer to the shelter ultimately got turned away. Rather, he chose to stay in his tent in the rain after he had conducted a non-scientific poll of the number of people above 50 and the number of those who snore. I’ll share those numbers…8, and a reluctant 8. Bunny threw me under the bus once again with backing from Sassy, both of whom claimed that I snore. I want to go on the record tonight that all those times I’ve said Bear ventriloquist snored, he doesn’t. Sassy snores too. Throw ME under the bus after I shared an M&M with you 2 days ago. They…were…peanut!
EFG